How homeschooling can boost your child’s confidence.

by The Varsity Tutors School@Home Team

“It was like night and day,” said D. Carbone of Largo, FL when asked if homeschooling made a difference in her son Jesse’s demeanor. Ms. Carbone chose to pull her son out of a public middle school because of the incessant bullying he faced. When removed from this toxic school environment, Jesse’s confidence immediately skyrocketed. “[He] finished his work happily every day,” Ms. Carbone recalls.

Countless other parents have witnessed a similar transformation. Stephanie Laura Ulrich, former RN and contributor for Quora writes, “What I noticed with our [homeschooled] son was how comfortable he was interacting on the same level as grown ups do with each other.” Homeschoolers spend a larger portion of the day around their parents and other adults, so it’s only logical that they would grow more comfortable in adult-dominated social settings.

Asim Qureshi, a homeschooling father, has spoken about this topic, as well. In his short yet compelling blog post called “Do Homeschoolers Lack Confidence?” Qureshi claims, “In my experience, and contrary to popular belief, homeschoolers tend to be more confident than school kids. Why? Because that’s what a loving and secure environment, free from bullying and namecalling, gets you – confidence, tons of it.”

In the same post, Qureshi shares a video of his daughter excitedly narrating a family anecdote, a performance for which she earned first place in a storytelling contest. Qureshi’s daughter is a prime example of how homeschooling can help students achieve new horizons, thanks to the customized pacing and approach the system lends itself to.

Ulrich’s and Qureshi’s observations suggest that homeschoolers don’t just become more confident academically, but also in more personal matters of human interaction. To be sure, the myth of the unsocialized homeschooler has been long debunked, with research indicating that homeschoolers actually tend to “have higher quality friendships and better relationships with their parents and other adults.” (Read “The Top 2 Myths about Homeschooled Children” for more information.)

Testimonies abound of parents who have seen an improvement in their children’s confidence after switching to homeschooling. Fortunately, this confidence appears to carry over into the college years when homeschooling is no longer possible. Frank D. Cipriani, Specialist Professor at Monmouth University, notes, “I find them [(homeschoolers)] more outspoken in college classes, which I really like.”

When interviewed by blogger Michelle Curren, one anonymous professor stated, “In my experience, homeschooled students are hard-working, polite, engaged students. They are not afraid to ask questions and engage with the instructor.” Biology Professor Jay Wile similarly remarked to Curren, “They [(formerly homeschooled students)] are the most serious about class. They always attend, ask questions, and respond when asked questions. [. . .] When I ask questions that are covered in the reading but not in class, they are the ones most likely to answer the question correctly.” (As a side note, in a study conducted by The Journal of College Admission, homeschoolers were found to boast higher grade-point averages and college graduation rates.)

But it’s not just parents’ and other adults’ observations that indicate homeschooling boosts self-esteem. Ample research over the past decades also shows that homeschoolers, on average, are more confident than their conventionally schooled peers.

In 1987, Mona Delahooke applied the Roberts Apperception Test for Children to discover that homeschoolers in California were “well adjusted and less peer dependent than conventionally schooled children.” The results of Delahooke’s study may not be surprising given the amount of independent learning involved with homeschooling.

Then, Paul Kitchen’s 1991 study of 11- to 14-year-olds found that “home schooled children scored higher than conventionally schooled children on the global [Self-Esteem Index] scale and the subscales for personal security, academic competence and familial acceptance.” The role of family relationships in building youngsters’ self-esteem cannot be overemphasized.

In the study called “Family Relationships and the Self-Esteem of Adolescents and their Parents,” which was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Demo, et al. open by writing, “An important context for the evolution of one’s self-esteem is the family and the kinds of interaction that occur among family members.”

This would seem to be common sense, but how does it relate to homeschooling? As the Southeast Homeschool Expo explains it, “One of the best ways to develop a strong relationship with any person is by spending TIME with them. The more time spent together, the more you will know that person, and understand them. Homeschooling allows us to do just that, which naturally brings us all closer together.”

But the research doesn’t stop there. In 1992, a study by Larry Shyers found that homeschooled students in the state of Florida had “above average scores on the PHSCS,” or the Piers-Harris Self-Concept Scale. (Steven Kelly had defined self-concept as “a system of subjective beliefs about personal experience and [which] is often equated with self-image, self-worth, and self-esteem.”) Also in 1992, Thomas Smedley used the Vineland Adaptive Behavior Scales to determine that homeschoolers were “more mature and better socialized than other school children.”

With so much evidence to prove that homeschoolers can be perfectly confident and socialized, it’s a wonder how the myth of the socially awkward homeschooler has stayed afloat in modern times. On the contrary, homeschooling your kids may be the smartest way to ensure they become well-adapted and self-assured adults.

*Varsity Tutors School @ Home offers something for every homeschooler, whether it's customizable complementary instruction in both academic and elective subjects or a digital app that makes daily homeschooling logistics easier for parents. Learn more here: *https://www.varsitytutors.com/school-at-home.