Dear Younger Self by Janelle

Dear Younger Self by Janelle - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could go back and tell my younger self just one thing, it would be this: Be confident—really confident—from the beginning. Don’t let fear, self-doubt, or what you think other people might say stop you from showing up as your full self. I say this now as someone who finally figured it out—but not until senior year.

Walking into high school as a quiet, 5’9, overweight girl was intimidating. I stuck to the background, avoided the spotlight, and rarely raised my hand in class, even when I knew the answer. I missed out on so many opportunities—not because I wasn’t capable or interested—but because I let my insecurities speak louder than my excitement.

I remember pep rallies and school events where I’d stay seated when I really wanted to stand up and cheer. I skipped club meetings and talked myself out of joining groups that I now know I would’ve loved. I worried about being judged for my size, my voice, my presence. I let the fear of embarrassment stop me from living the high school experience to the fullest. I was constantly asking myself, What will people think? What if I mess up? What if I’m not good enough?

But here’s the thing I wish I had learned sooner: most people weren’t thinking about me at all—and if they were, they were kind, supportive, and encouraging. The fear I had built up in my head wasn’t real. It took until my senior year to finally realize that I didn’t need anyone’s permission to be confident. I stopped waiting for someone to invite me to take up space and started taking it for myself.

I began speaking up more, raising my hand in class, volunteering for things that used to scare me. I joined clubs and actually enjoyed participating. I went to events and allowed myself to have fun without overthinking how I looked or what others thought. And you know what? Nothing bad happened. No one laughed. In fact, people were more welcoming and supportive than I ever imagined. The encouragement I had been craving had been there all along—I just wasn’t allowing myself to receive it.

So now, as a graduate, I’m still the same 5’9 or 5’10 now, overweight girl—but I carry myself completely differently. I’m walking out of high school not just taller in height but stronger in confidence. I know who I am and what I’m capable of, and I don’t let fear silence me anymore. I’ve become someone who speaks up, goes after what she wants, and believes she deserves good things.

To my past self, I would say this: stop hiding. You have so much to offer. Confidence isn’t something you earn after reaching a goal—it’s something you choose to build, even if you’re scared. Don’t waste time letting fear lead. Be bold. Be loud. Be you—from day one.