Choose Yourself Sooner by Wiyanna

Choose Yourself Sooner by Wiyanna - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could sit down across from my younger self, look her in the eyes, and offer her just one piece of advice, it would be this: Choose yourself sooner. Not because you’re selfish, or because your responsibilities don’t matter, but because you matter, too. Your dreams are just as valid as the people you sacrifice for. And one day, your ability to love and serve others will only grow stronger if you take the time to nurture your own voice, your own path.

For most of my life, I didn’t do that. I was the one who made sure the bills were paid, the groceries were stocked, and the people I loved were taken care of. I learned to survive early. Life demanded it. My mother was a single parent, and I watched her stretch every dollar and minute to make sure my brother and I had what we needed. Her strength became my blueprint. I took on adult responsibilities far earlier than I should have, and eventually, my own dreams began to fade into the background.

College was always a goal, but never a priority, not because I didn’t want it, but because it always felt like something other people had time for. I worked. I took care of the family. I dealt with health issues. I told myself I would get to it eventually. But eventually kept moving further and further away.

And yet, something inside me never stopped whispering: there’s more. You were meant for more than just surviving. You were meant to learn, to lead, to use your voice to help others. It took a long time for me to listen to that voice. A heart condition finally forced me to stop, reflect, and decide what kind of life I wanted to live if I was lucky enough to keep living it. That was when I made the decision to go back to school. That was when I finally chose myself.

If I could go back and speak to the version of me who thought she was too old, too tired, or too far behind, I would tell her: You are not too late. You are right on time. There is strength in every scar and wisdom in every detour. The life you want is still within reach, but you have to believe that you’re worthy of it, not someday, not when everything calms down, but right now.

Returning to school at forty was not easy. There were plenty of doubts and insecurities. I was older than most of my classmates. I worried about whether my health would keep up. I questioned whether I had the energy to juggle classes, responsibilities, and everything else that came with the decision. But what I discovered is that choosing yourself doesn’t mean abandoning others. It means including yourself in the circle of care you extend so freely to everyone else.

I chose to major in history, not because it was the most conventional path for someone interested in public service, but because I wanted to understand the roots of the systems we live in today. I wanted to learn how society was built, who it was built for, and how it can be changed. I believe that studying the past gives us the clearest view of the future. It helps us uncover not just facts, but truths, truths about power, injustice, resilience, and progress. That understanding is what will allow me to serve others more effectively and compassionately.

I am now pursuing a future in public service, advocating for communities that are too often left behind, rural residents, people with disabilities, individuals living with chronic health conditions, and anyone who feels invisible in systems that should protect them. But I wouldn’t be doing any of this if I hadn’t first decided to believe in myself. That is why my advice would be so simple and yet so profound: Choose yourself sooner. Invest in your own growth, even when it feels inconvenient. Prioritize your dreams, even when they scare you. Your journey might not look like anyone else’s, but that doesn’t make it any less worthy.

Looking back, I don’t regret the time I spent helping others. That’s part of who I am, and it always will be. But I wish I had known earlier that choosing myself wasn’t selfish, it was necessary. I wish I had seen that my voice mattered, not just as an echo of someone else's needs, but as a voice with ideas, ambition, and purpose.

If my story helps someone else make a similar choice, then it’s all worth it. I hope that others, especially nontraditional students, caregivers, and those facing personal health battles, see themselves in my journey and find the courage to choose themselves, too. Because the world needs people who know how to care deeply, think critically, and lead with empathy.

And the first step toward becoming that kind of leader is believing that you are worth the effort.