Little Ole Doll by Jade

Little Ole Doll by Jade - October 2025 Scholarship Essay

What do you see when looking at a Barbie Doll? Typically, whenever you see Barbie, you think of a doll with plastic stringy hair. A completely immobile object, waiting to be manipulated by the artist controlling it. Whenever I would read Barbie stories, I picture myself. Barbie has never given up when teased, pulled or even put under heat. She sits there trusting the process, although the steps along the way may not flow right off the bat. Similarly to myself, remaining focused when being wrapped in the tangles of life. Balancing cosmetology, school, home and most importantly the struggles of being a teenage girl can become a lot to manage. In certain situations, I try to zone out and think about all of the Barbie stories, it’s like she is always positive whenever things don’t quite go as planned. No matter what life throws at her, it’s always facing forward. Which is exactly how I live daily, showing strength and confidence to persevere through the strands of life. However, in a matter of seconds, my strength was challenged, and I froze like my Barbie books and doll on my shelf.
On October 9, 2024, I was sitting in cosmetology class scrolling on Instagram. I clicked on my uncle’s story and “BOOM!” I saw a picture of my dad, laying on the ground lifeless, with a caption that read, “Shake back Barro!” My father had overdosed. Everything went silent; my body went numb; and tears began like water leaking from a broken spray bottle. He was in a coma with tubes piercing through his body. My daddy? My best friend? I begged the doctors to promise me my dad would wake up and asked God “Why? Just, why him." I’ve never spoke about it; I stayed silent every time someone asked. That silence guarded a lot of grief and despair leading me to feel as if I could never face forward again. I felt like a shattered mirror, broken into a million pieces. No matter how hard I tried, the missing pieces left my heart broken and every step forward felt harder to take.
Though my world felt shattered, I had to remind myself of the “Little Ole Doll” who kept facing forward. I walked into class with a dense pain, driven to not be stuck in that period forever. I spent days trying to perfect my mannequin accompanied with restless nights of assignments that felt never ending; and every hour stitched diligence into the determination I carry every day. I built myself up strand by strand until I felt complete.
In those months after my father’s incident, I felt like I had to push myself and work twice as hard. I poured my all into cosmetology and schoolwork with the same patience and determination Barbie had taught me. Slowly, but surely those broken pieces of my mirror started to come back together making me feel whole again. Those same hands that used to be shaky with grief and disappointment, now worked steady with courage. Confidently, I learned new techniques for my mannequin while having restless nights of studying. I had to push through to ensure my future doesn’t run away. A recent accomplishment made all the hard work and pain does not feel in vain. I earned the FBISD Academic Excellence Award for the fourth year in a row.
While I am proud of my accomplishments thus far, I’m still reminded of Barbie. I’m reminded how I must face forward and trust the process. I must exhibit patience even under heat. Having a front row seat in watching my dad suffer, I had to overcome that obstacle of “putting on a brave face” even though I’m suffering on the inside. I never thought I would overcome that hurdle, but I did. Now, that gives me the strength that I’m able to do anything no matter the trials and tribulations that come my way. Little Ole Doll.