From Pain to Peace: What I Learned from The Secret Life of Bees by Crishunna

From Pain to Peace: What I Learned from The Secret Life of Bees by Crishunna - October 2025 Scholarship Essay

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned from a fictional character comes from The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Through the character of Lily Owens, I discovered the importance of forgiveness — not just toward others, but toward yourself. Lily spends much of her life haunted by guilt after accidentally killing her mother as a child. Her pain isolates her until she meets the Boatwright sisters, three strong Black women who teach her that love and forgiveness are forms of freedom. Lily’s journey toward self-forgiveness mirrors my own path of healing after a traumatic experience my freshman year of high school.

During that year, I was sexually assaulted. For a long time, I carried an unbearable amount of guilt and shame, even though what happened wasn’t my fault. I blamed myself for something I didn’t choose and convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy of happiness or love. Reading Lily’s story helped me see my pain in a new light. Like her, I realized that healing doesn’t come from erasing the past, but from learning to live with it in peace. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting — it’s about choosing not to let what hurt you define you anymore.

One line from August Boatwright deeply moved me: “You have to find a mother inside yourself. We all do.” That moment taught me that sometimes, you have to become your own source of comfort and strength. I had to learn to nurture myself with the same compassion I would offer someone I love. Forgiving myself meant accepting that what happened to me was not my fault — that I could still be whole, even with scars. It also meant allowing myself to believe in a future filled with love and purpose, rather than pain.

Lily’s story also showed me that forgiveness thrives in community. The support she found with the Boatwright sisters reminded me how healing it can be to open up to others. When I finally allowed myself to talk about what I’d been through, I began to feel less alone. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing what happened; it means reclaiming your power from it. The women in Lily’s life showed her — and me — that love, in all its forms, can mend even the deepest wounds.

By the end of the novel, Lily realizes that she is “the daughter of every woman who had ever been strong enough to love despite their losses.” That quote stayed with me because it reflects my own growth. I am not defined by what happened to me, but by how I choose to rise from it. I have learned that forgiveness is an act of courage. It takes strength to face your past, accept it, and move forward with grace.

The Secret Life of Bees taught me that forgiveness is freedom — freedom from guilt, shame, and the pain that once controlled me. It showed me that love and compassion, especially for yourself, are the foundations of healing. That lesson has shaped the person I am today: resilient, hopeful, and ready to help others find peace within themselves, just as I did.