Stop Trying to Control the Outcome by Sienna

Stop Trying to Control the Outcome by Sienna - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give one piece of advice to my past self, it would be this phrase: “Stop trying to control the outcome.” I used to believe everything I did had to be flawless, whether it involved school, sports, or how other people perceived me. I constantly stressed over minor errors, thinking that the slightest mistake could derail my future. However, over time, my perspective has evolved.

At the start of my freshman year, I vividly remember constantly worrying about my grades to the point where I could not sleep at night. Even when I excelled in my academics, it never felt like it was enough. I would end up finding myself comparing myself to others, feeling like I had to compete with them instead of focusing on my own growth. The pressure to keep up with everyone else often made me feel isolated. Instead of celebrating my achievements, I would constantly question if I was doing enough. I even avoided asking for help because I thought it would make me look weak. I realize now that I was trying too hard to control the outcome instead of embracing the process. Over time, I realized that constantly comparing myself to others did not make me better; it made me feel stuck, like I was running a race I could never win. That competitive mindset at the time drained me beyond belief, which led me to make impulsive decisions as I tried to compete with my unrealistic expectations, instead of just learning through the process.

There were instances where I held myself back from exploring new opportunities because of self-doubt. For instance, I almost did not try out for my high school’s tennis team freshman year. I feared I lacked the necessary skills and would be cut from the team. I was so focused on controlling the end goal that I almost missed an opportunity to grow. However, once I took the initiative, everything changed. Tennis became more than a sport; it was the source of cultivating friendships, a source of identity, and connection. During my freshman year, I avoided joining smaller clubs at my school, even ones I was interested in, like the Book and Environmental club. I was scared of standing out or being judged. I feared I would not fit in or that I would say something awkward. Looking back, I see how much I let fear control my outcome. Those missed opportunities could have helped me grow new skills and connect with people who shared my interests. Looking back, I can see how fear made decisions for me. These missed chances could have helped me grow and connect with others who shared the same interests. I regret not pushing past that fear sooner, just due to the fact that I did not want to be noticed.

I often blamed myself for situations that were out of my control, like when friendships ended, or I was not recognized for things I worked hard on. I internalized those moments and convinced myself I was the cause. As I have grown, I have come to grasp that setbacks are inevitable and a part of the process. What truly matters is how you respond when things do not go as expected.

If I had shown more compassion towards myself, I would have experienced less anxiety and more happiness. I’ve learned that perfection is an illusion and a root cause everyone battles with, no matter how perfect they appear on the surface. Instead of clinging to my past mistakes, I now try to view them as lessons. Practicing patience with uncertain outcomes is still a work in progress, but it has made life feel much more manageable.

From my experiences, I have learned that confidence is not built by avoiding failure; it is built by facing it and choosing to move forward. The advice I would give my past self is the same phrase I hold onto today: “Stop trying to control the outcome.” Focus on growth, not perfection. Focus on progress, not pressure.