Hurt People Hurt People by Natalie

Hurt People Hurt People by Natalie - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

A piece of advice I would give to my younger self is something my adopted dad reminds my siblings of, which is that hurt people hurt people. Growing up in Accra, Ghana, was difficult for my birth mom and two younger siblings. Our birth father took out most of his anger about life on his children and wife to the point where he decided to walk away from our family, leaving my mother to raise three kids by herself while selling food and drinks on the side of the road. Our mother decided to place me and my siblings in an orphanage.
Life at the orphanage was dreadful; the rooms were overcrowded, and we would sometimes go days without eating. We had to rely on people looking at us with pity to receive necessities. It made me feel almost less than a human, like an animal in the zoo. I hated that feeling; I hated the pity in the eyes that were watching us, and I hated everything at the orphanage. The woman in charge often berated me because I was one of the oldest children there, and I never understood why. She never hurt me physically, but it took its toll on my heart and mind..
My siblings and I were adopted by the Mills, who already had three children, two adopted and one biological. I don’t know what pain she experienced, but she took out her hurt on my siblings and me. There were days when my siblings and I would get locked in our rooms while the family went out to eat and did everyday family things. My siblings and I would only get to eat or leave the rooms when they got home. One night, my younger brother was locked in his room to the point where he urinated on himself, and I had to watch him get punished for something he could not control. The Mills decided to give my little sister up for adoption; she now lives with a different family from the one my brother and I are in.
Now, as I am a sophomore in college, I still can’t understand why the people who were supposed to care for my siblings and me instead caused me pain. For years, I carried pain, hurt, sadness, and anger, not realizing that all that I was carrying was only hurting me. But now, I understand that the pain they projected wasn’t about me or for me; it was about their hurt and unhealed wounds. I would tell my younger self she is not broken and that her worth is not defined by the ways that people treat her. I want her to know that real love and healing do exist and that she will experience that for herself. I will also tell her to keep dreaming because one day, she will learn to use her skills to design spaces where people are loved, seen, and valued. That little girl deserved a forever home, and I am working on creating that for others, too.