Pausing to Thrive by Zoe

Pausing to Thrive by Zoe - February 2026 Scholarship Essay

One challenge I have faced repeatedly is the consuming spiral of “what ifs”. In 2020, my brother was attacked by a mountain lion. Moments before, I had been right behind him. Luckily, when it pounced I wasn’t. My dad saved my brother's life. For years I questioned what I would have done if I had been the one standing there.

It took experiencing another moment of fight-or-flight instinct to quiet these thoughts. When my dog was attacked by a larger dog, and was able to recover because of my quick reaction, my spiral of thoughts quieted and fell into perspective. Now I know undoubtedly that, in the moments where my heart must act without my mind, I will always defend the ones I love with all that I have.

Academically, similar anxieties have caused me to have a breaking moment. After a long stretch of academic perfectionism, sophomore year I experienced my first debilitating panic attack. As I prepared for honors finals and dual enrollment exams in the minutes of break in my theatre dress rehearsal, I felt a rush of pure and inexplicable fear. I couldn’t breathe. At that moment, I didn’t realize what was happening. My mental exhaustion was so complete that my body physically went into fight-or-flight.

And so, despite believing so deeply that I had no choice, I took the next day off. I paused and took a moment to see things again as they truly were: temporary stressors that were not as dire as they seemed. In this way, I released the pressure to achieve perfection, knowing that regardless of the outcome, my efforts were something to be proud of.

With this shift, I didn’t fail. In fact, I regained joy in my learning and performance. I focused on my mental and physical health first, so that when I did study, I did so efficiently and sustainably. This is the order of attention I maintain to this day. I have learned I always stand up in defense for those I love, and I have grown to do the same for myself.