If I Could Give One Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Yiselle

If I Could Give One Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Yiselle - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give my past self one piece of advice, it would be this: Don’t take everything so personally. Not every comment, action, or outcome is a reflection of who you are or what you’re worth.

Growing up, I spent a lot of time assuming that other people’s moods or reactions were somehow my fault. If someone was distant or seemed upset, I’d replay conversations in my head, wondering what I said wrong, and spiral unnecessarily. If I didn’t get chosen for something, I would immediately assume I wasn’t good enough. I constantly carried the weight of other people’s emotions and decisions on my shoulders, and it wore me down.

Now, as an adult, what I’ve come to learn is that most of the time, people’s behavior has far more to do with them than with you. Things like someone having a bad day, being short, or making a decision that doesn’t involve you is not necessarily about you. And even when it is, it shouldn't define your worth or mean you have to carry it with you. Taking things personally kept me from being at peace with myself. It made me into an exhausted overthinker, I would apologize for things that had nothing to do with me, and I held back in situations where I should have spoken up. If I had learned earlier to step back and not internalize everything, I would have saved myself a lot of stress and insecurity.

That doesn’t mean that I should be careless or ignore feedback. It simply means that I should understand and realize that not every reaction is mine to absorb. Not everything is about me. It means that you give yourself permission to exist without constantly editing yourself based on how others might respond and to be unapologetically yourself. Otherwise, how else would you build your own character if you're constantly trying to be like everyone else?

To my younger self, I’d say this: People are going to think whatever they think, and do whatever they do, and that's fine. It's out of your control. However, that doesn’t mean you need to carry the weight of it. Keep showing up as yourself. Learn from what’s useful, and pick up the book titled Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins, and learn the art of letting it go. You will thank yourself later.

Letting go of the need to personalize and internalize everything is freeing, and it’s one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.