The Courage to Be Unready by Willie

The Courage to Be Unready by Willie - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

Three days before my St. Jude research presentation, our project finally received IRB approval. After weeks of preparing our research, my team finalized the project and sent it to our manager. I expected that we would have time to prepare for the presentation. Instead, my mentor looked at us and said, "Alright, now present to us and our PI before presenting to the whole department."
I immediately knew I was not ready. I said so, but in the moment, I felt like no one was listening. I became overwhelmed, walked out, and cried. I was disappointed in myself for not feeling prepared, especially because I had always believed that I needed to be ready for every challenge. However, instead of allowing that moment to define me, I went directly to the PI and explained that I was not comfortable presenting yet. I asked for time to prepare, and I used the three days I had to practice until I felt confident enough to present.
That experience taught me an important lesson about feedback and personal growth. My mentor's push was not necessarily telling me that I had failed; it challenged me to rise to an unexpected situation. I learned that sometimes feedback comes in the form of someone placing you in a situation that reveals where you need to grow. Rather than simply memorizing our research paper, I focused on understanding our research question, methodology, findings, and conclusions well enough to explain them in my own words. I practiced repeatedly and prepared myself to answer questions.
Most importantly, I learned to give myself grace. As a Black man pursuing STEM, I sometimes feel that I have to be exceptional just to prove that I belong. That expectation pushes me to work hard, but it can also make me believe that struggling means I am not good enough. This experience showed me that being overwhelmed does not make me incapable. Asking for time to prepare does not make me less intelligent. Giving myself grace does not mean lowering my standards.
I still hold myself to high standards, but I now understand that growth requires patience as well as effort. I learned to advocate for what I need, accept feedback without viewing it as personal failure, and give myself the time and space to improve. Most importantly, I learned that I do not have to be perfect to be capable.
When I finally stood in front of my mentor, PI, and others to present our research, I was not the person who had walked out crying three days earlier. I was more prepared, more confident, and more willing to trust myself. That experience changed the way I approach challenges: I no longer see needing time, making mistakes, or feeling unprepared as evidence that I do not belong. I see them as opportunities to learn, adapt, and grow.