From Defending Ideas to Improving Them by Wil'Lani

From Defending Ideas to Improving Them by Wil'Lani - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

One of the greatest lessons I have learned about personal growth came while developing and implementing the Friendship Bench Initiative in my community. Initially, I believed receiving feedback meant identifying mistakes. By the end of the project, I realized feedback was something much more valuable; it was an opportunity to make a good idea even better.

The Friendship Bench Initiative began with a simple goal: increase access to compassionate listening and mental health resources within our community. While the vision seemed clear in my mind, transforming that vision into a successful community program required input from many different people.

Writing the grant proposal was only the beginning.

Throughout the process, I received feedback from grant reviewers, library leadership, licensed mental health professionals, community organizations, volunteers, and local partners. At times, suggestions required me to rethink parts of the program I had spent hours developing. Training materials were revised. Evaluation tools changed. Community partnerships expanded. Even small details, such as how volunteers would be trained or how referrals would be handled, improved because someone offered a different perspective.

Initially, my instinct was to defend my work. After all, I had invested significant time researching, writing, and planning every detail. It was easy to become attached to my original ideas.

Overtime, however, I began asking a different question.

Instead of asking, "How can I defend my idea?" I started asking, "How can this feedback make the program stronger?"

That simple change transformed the way I approached learning.

I realized feedback was not criticism of my abilities. It was collaboration with people whose experiences differed from my own. Every suggestion represented another opportunity to consider a perspective I might have overlooked.

One example was the development of volunteer training and evaluation materials. Because professionals from different backgrounds contributed their expertise, the final program became far more comprehensive than anything I could have created independently. The same was true for the replication toolkit we later developed for other libraries and organizations. It became stronger because it reflected the knowledge of many people rather than the opinions of one.

The experience also changed my understanding of leadership.

I once believed leaders were expected to have the answers.

Today, I believe great leaders ask better questions.

Leadership is not demonstrated by refusing to change direction. It is demonstrated by remaining teachable enough to recognize when someone else's idea improves your own.

That lesson continues influencing my education, my career, and my personal growth. Whether I receive feedback from professors, coworkers, or community partners, I no longer view suggestions as evidence that I failed. I view them as opportunities to continue learning.

Ironically, the Friendship Bench Initiative was designed to encourage people to listen compassionately to others.

In many ways, developing the program taught me to do the same.

Before we can truly listen to the people we hope to serve, we must first be willing to listen ourselves.

Looking back, I no longer believe feedback changes our ideas.

I believe it changes us.

It teaches humility, strengthens collaboration, and reminds us that our greatest growth often begins when we become willing to learn from perspectives beyond our own. That lesson has shaped not only the way I approach future projects but also the kind of