a positive times a positive always equals a negative by Valentina

a positive times a positive always equals a negative by Valentina - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

Sitting at the kitchen table with my Expo marker in hand, writing positive and negative numbers on my dry erase board as my dad's voice echoed. "A negative times a negative always equals a positive," he explained. Always? I thought, struggling to understand how two wrongs could make a right. At the time, it was just confusing math. Later, it became the key to confronting my biggest critic: my brain.

Freshman year. "Today will be the day," I said to myself, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, styling my hair into a simple braid, trying to build courage to finally wear a different hairstyle. As I secured the hair tie, my brain flooded with thoughts: Everyone will notice. They'll think you look stupid. You'll be the girl who suddenly changed her hair. Chickening out, I quickly destroyed the braid, wearing my hair down as usual. Whether it was a braid, messy bun, or ponytail, this scene repeated itself endlessly. I was trapped in a brain filled with "what if" statements.

This consumed more than just hairstyles. New clothes hung unworn in my closet. Piano recitals were skipped. Soccer cleats collected dust. Real opportunities were being missed. I was losing myself, one negative thought at a time.

I desperately searched for solutions. Months of therapy sessions. YouTube self-help videos. Meditation apps. Nothing helped with the endless "what if" statements taking over my head.

The breakthrough came unexpectedly during an ordinary walk with my mom and our dog. I had just signed up to volunteer at the zoo that morning, instantly regretting it. My brain spiraled: What if I mess up? What if I make a fool of myself? Following my therapist's advice, I voiced these thoughts out loud.

"Why do you always think so negatively?" my mom interrupted.

Her question stopped me mid-spiral. She was right. Why did I always think so negatively?

My dad's old math lesson echoed back: "A negative times a negative always equals a positive." All this negative thinking must lead to something positive, right? What if, instead of trying to silence these thoughts, I actually engaged with them? What if I multiplied my anxious overthinking by deliberately examining these fears? It all clicked. I created my own mathematical equation: my overthinking multiplied by examining and debunking unrealistic fears equals more positive, relaxed results.

I started testing this equation. Standing in front of the mirror again, braiding my hair, but this time something different happened. The more I examined each fear, the more it crumbled. What would actually happen if someone noticed my braid? Maybe they wouldn't care. Maybe they'd compliment it. Even if someone judged me, would that change anything important about my life? My hand reached for the elastic and this time, it stayed. I left my house wearing a braid.

Soon, I started my days with Dutch braids for morning zoo volunteering shifts and switched to a bubble ponytail for afternoon soccer practice, no longer paralyzed by anxious thoughts.
I’ve learned that growth isn’t about eliminating anxiety, it's about changing my relationship with it.

This mathematical approach continues to help me in unexpected ways. Last summer while interpreting at the Florida Panther exhibit during my zoo volunteer shift, I accidentally said "meurring," combining meowing and purring. Two years ago, I would've spiraled: Did they notice? Are they laughing at me? Instead, I applied my equation. So what if they noticed? The important thing was that visitors learned about these incredible cats.

Just as negative numbers are essential to mathematics, anxious thoughts will always be a part of my mental landscape. The power lies not in avoiding them, but in knowing how to actually work with them. This mathematical approach now guides how I tackle challenges, turning what once felt overwhelming into problems I can confidently solve.