Upon Reflection: Advice to My Younger Self by Tylor

Upon Reflection: Advice to My Younger Self by Tylor - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could go back in time and give advice to my past self, it would be to believe in myself, to be mindful and present, to take risks and embrace change, and to trust my instincts. These pieces of advice reflect my desire to revisit and impart wisdom to my younger self so I wouldn't face the same challenges again and could reach my potential sooner.

"Have more confidence," "Don't doubt yourself," or "Trust your abilities" are phrases from my childhood that echo through my mind. Like many people, I remember a younger self plagued by self-doubt, insecurity, or fear of judgment due to my being on the autism spectrum and having ADHD.

Self-esteem often matures with age and experience. Looking back, I see that my anxieties were unfounded and that I was more capable than I realized. I would love to give my past self a booster shot of confidence. I recognize that much suffering is self-inflicted through limiting beliefs. And, while my anxiety still surfaces, I am equipped with many tools I've gained over the years from Executive Function training, Communication, and Social Skills classes, and from therapists and the coaches (mostly my parents) in my life. For instance, I remember a time when I was afraid to speak up in class due to my ADHD, but with the help of my parents and therapists, I gained the confidence to participate in discussions.

My mom constantly reminds me, "Don't stress over the small things," and "Most of the things you worry about will never happen." I understand now what she was trying to tell me: the anxieties of youth—over grades, social issues, or my future—often fade or prove to be less significant than they once seemed. For example, I once worried that I wasn't smart and about my grades. I have learned that I am capable and that, with the right tools, I can apply myself to achieve success. Stress and worry can rob the present of joy, and people older than me have expressed a wish to recapture the lightness and spontaneity that excessive worry had overshadowed in their youth.

My brother, who is also on the spectrum and an actor, often reminds me, "Don't be afraid to take chances" and "Say yes to opportunities." Fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown kept me in my comfort zone, leading to regrets about the paths I didn't take or the things I didn't do that I should have done. We often regret the things we did not do more than the things we did do. I wish I had been braver in my younger years, but I was afraid. Fear can be a deterrent, especially when we're young. You have been untested by life, and of late, I have come to realize that risk-taking often leads to growth, learning, and more memorable experiences. I regret not taking more chances, and I wish I could remove that burden from my present self.

My father tells me to "Listen to your gut," "Don't ignore the red flags," or "If something feels wrong, it probably is." As a young person, I fell victim to peer pressure, sometimes ignoring my values to fit in. I have found that I unconsciously silenced my inner voice, which warned me that something wasn't right in certain situations. I had not yet realized that intuition can be a powerful guide when you listen. The decisions I regret are the ones where I went against my sense of what was right. I have come to understand how to trust my intuition, be authentic, and trust myself. Trusting yourself and your intuition can guide you towards a more fulfilling life.

My Grandma tells me to "Enjoy the moment," "Don't rush through life," and to "Savor your youth"—these are pieces of advice that reflect a yearning to slow down and appreciate what's happening now, seen from the other side of the aging spectrum. Time doesn't stop. Many of us feel that we spent too much of our past focused on chasing our goals, checking boxes, or waiting for happiness to arrive. I am in the same boat. Now, I recognize the value of mindfulness and being present. I wish I had developed this mentality sooner, as it brings me a profound sense of peace and fulfillment.

Everyone faces challenges marked by fear and self-doubt, regardless of their cultural background or context. As we age, our values and perspectives often evolve. We learn the value of connection and being authentic. We find contentment in individual achievements over public status. As I look back, I see patterns and lessons clearly that were once obscured by my anxiety and self-doubt. Hindsight allows for a gentler, more generous interpretation of mistakes and missteps.

The advice I wish to give my past self is to be present and mindful of my situation and surroundings, to trust my gut and believe in my abilities, and to take risks and challenge myself. If I could, I would heal old wounds and apply those lessons to my present and future choices. While I can't turn back the clock, I can heed my wisdom, nurture what truly matters, and, in doing so, offer better advice to my future self.