My Unique Lesson by Rickisha
Rickisha's entry into Varsity Tutor's October 2025 scholarship contest
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My Unique Lesson by Rickisha - October 2025 Scholarship Essay
Growing up, no one really explained how to deal with death. It is something that just happens to everyone, and you are left to figure it out on your own. It makes you worry if you are going to pass, but most importantly, what about your family? In my family, there were so many of us that loss became something we faced more than we liked to present. Each time it felt different, but it never got easier. Some were easier as they were older or grew ill, so even though it was hard, we knew. But what happens to the unexpected deaths? The ones that take your breath away. The ones that you carry on with you from childhood.
One thing that helped me understand it better was a book I read when I was younger called Mick Harte Was Here by Barbara Park. It tells the story of a thirteen-year-old girl named Phoebe Harte who is trying to cope with the sudden loss of her brother. Her brother, unfortunately, was in a bicycle accident and did not make it. The way the story shows her pain, confusion, and the love she still carries for him felt very real to me. This shows the confusion and pain we hold as a child when we lose someone we love at a young age. It walks you through how you can get support and love on how to carry on the person’s legacy to cope with grieving.
That book connected with me in a personal way because I also went through a sudden loss that changed everything. My uncle, whom I was very close to, drowned during what was supposed to be a simple boat trip. One moment, everything was fine, and the next, it felt like the world had stopped. One phone call my father got changed his life forever. He had just spoken to him on the phone, and they were planning their next brother trip. Watching my father cry and break down was tough. The days after were heavy with silence, and no one seemed to know what to say. I remember feeling numb and lost, wondering how life could just keep going without him in it. How could we even carry on when he isn’t here anymore? What is going to happen to my aunt and my cousins? How were visits going to be at his house from now on? There were so many questions with no answers from anyone to help me cope. At school, a teacher noticed my behavior change and recommended this book to help me cope.
Reading that book again after his passing helped me in ways I did not expect. It showed me that grief does not follow rules, and that it is okay to feel every emotion that comes with it. I learned that memories can be painful, but they can also bring comfort when you least expect them. The story helped me understand that the people we lose never really leave us because their love and their lessons stay behind. Over time, I realized that healing is not about forgetting. It is about remembering with peace instead of pain.