Me, myself, and I by Mia

Me, myself, and I by Mia - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

For me, and probably a lot of others, I often associated being alone with loneliness. I saw these two things as hand in hand; they even sounded as similar as they were. I avoided being alone, always seeing it as the negative alternative to being with company, rather than as equal options. I found intimidation especially in the public perception of being alone. Going to the mall or eating out, even going to the gym alone was something I avoided. If friends were unavailable for these things often, I simply wouldn't do them.

It's difficult to pinpoint an exact moment to strike my change of mind since it was more of a gradual realization, and a self-taught lesson, however a main reason was the inconvenience of constantly seeking company. At a point in time, I had got into a routine of going to the gym every day with a friend of mine. However, every once in a while, she wouldn't be able to go. Of course, for me, this meant I wouldn't either. After some time, I began to really enjoy the gym and wanted to stay in my daily routine. Instead of shaping my routine around someone else's schedule I realized nothing was holding me back from making my life on my own time. This concept, seeming so simple, was new to me and I began applying it to the rest of my life. In favor of my own time, I started going by myself, on my schedule, and maximizing my days.

The thing is the loneliness I feared so much was only a matter of my own mind. The strangers I pass as I run errands alone or sit at the cafe by myself don't think twice about me being by myself, the same way I don't think about strangers being alone.

All this time spent avoiding loneliness, was time missed out on hanging out with the most important person in my life, myself. Even in an age of "self-love" movements, I still find the importance of getting to know yourself is underrated. Don't get me wrong, I value friendship to a high degree, but making time to be alone is just as important. Sometimes a lot of us can feel like certain people in our lives know us, understand us, sometimes we say "better than ourselves" but how can this be true if we never make time to get to know us. Every day without realizing it, I am constantly changing through everything I experience. There have definitely been times in my life I've been surrounded more often by people, other times less. If continuing to spend time alone with myself is my effort to make sure I am up to date with who I am. It's an internal friendship that requires effort.

To withhold this, I find that journaling is one of the things that helps me the most. In the moment, writing down what's going on in my life and how I feel about it seems pointless. Why write about things I already know? It's my life I don't need to remind myself of it. However, a couple months later I realize how untrue this is. I realize that within such short amounts of time I can view situations entirely different and be forgetful to how much they really impacted me in the moment.

So, as I have begun to get more comfortable with myself, I don't avoid being alone. I don't stress out about finding company to whatever activity I want to do. If my friends are available, they'll join me, if unavailable, or simply uninterested, it's no worries. I don't have to force anyone to doing something that doesn't excite them and I can do the things I love to my fullest enjoyment. Being alone a lot doesn't mean I'm lonely, and really it was only a challenge when I made it into one.