How Dare You! Feedback on receiving Feedback by Lily

How Dare You! Feedback on receiving Feedback by Lily - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

To all who were children at one point: how did you feel when you were corrected by someone else? When you were told you were wrong? If you were anything like me, your blood would boil and you would defend your side vehemently, never backing down.

I know very few kids who will meekly stand by while someone tells them they are wrong. For me, every bit of feedback used to be hard to take (some still is), even if I asked for it. It always sounded like the person giving the feedback was subtly saying, "you are wrong", "your work is bad", or something along those lines . Sometimes they were, but in hindsight, their only intention was to improve. Nonetheless, after every remark I thought, “How dare you”.

When I was still in homeschool my mom was the one constantly commenting on my work. Because of my aversion to criticism, I would often explode, making homework take longer and mistakes more likely to occur. One particularly difficult day, after multiple timeouts to cool down and a tremendous temper tantrum, my mom gave up. She called my dad and explained the situation. He showed up thirty minutes later and took me to his office, where he sat down to work on his computer. He told me to sit quietly and do my schoolwork. I dared not refuse. I did not care about misbehaving in front of my mom (sadly), but the mere thought of doing so in a building of important people made me cringe.

When I had a question or needed something checked, I quietly asked my dad. Occasionally, people popped in to talk to my dad. One time his boss came in and gave him advice on something to do with a well they were drilling. I noticed how my dad responded. He was not miffed in the slightest. In fact, my dad seemed almost happy to receive this critique. I was intrigued.

On the way back home, with only my optional homework incomplete, my dad and I had a talk. He talked to me about my aversion to advice, and I asked him about the exchange with his boss. He informed me that feedback is the path to improvement.

“Take that math problem you got wrong earlier,” he said, “I know you did not mean to get it wrong; really the only thing you wanted was to get it right. So turning in a wrong answer meant you either did not notice it was wrong, or you did not know how to do it. Now when I tell you it is wrong and why, I am giving you feedback. This is how everyone learns.

If no one gave you critique, you would not learn your lessons. If no one gave me critique, I could not do my job. Everyone needs feedback; it is a tool for fixing mistakes. By receiving feedback well and with grace, you show gratitude for someone else taking the time to help you.”

That conversation was one I never forgot. While change did not occur immediately, I made an effort every day to turn my life around, to get better about receiving correction. It was a long, slow process, but a worthwhile one. My dad’s feedback on receiving feedback changed my point of view, and that in turn changed my attitude. Feedback is essential to learning.