Don't Worry, Mom and Dad, I've Got This by Lily

Don't Worry, Mom and Dad, I've Got This by Lily - March 2026 Scholarship Essay

It is Friday afternoon and “Fred” asks to take out his big tub of Thomas and Friends trains for the weekend. Our dad allows it. Knowing the drill, I get up from the couch and take out the train tracks in the separate box and start making a loop. I added a switch track so the motorized vehicles can change directions if Fred wants.
Being a loved one’s caregiver is an incredible act of service, and it is often a thankless job—whether you are a formal, paid caregiver or merely assume that position. While I am not a legal guardian, I have long considered myself a caregiver to my younger brother, Fred, who is on the autism spectrum. Due to additional attention required for autistic children, neurotypical siblings often assume some responsibilities, causing them to mature earlier. They unconsciously step into supportive roles, whether by monitoring behavior, providing emotional reassurance, or adapting to unique daily challenges. As a result, sibling relationships with autistic individuals are often fundamentally different.
My family was so fortunate to have a designated caregiver for seventeen years. She started working for us when Fred was two years old. Despite having a committed caregiver and devoted parents, I frequently filled in when our she was not present. This does not mean that our parents neglected us — not at all — but rather that I often stepped up in subtle yet meaningful ways. I often took the initiative to engage with him, especially as we grew older and connection required more effort. I suggested playing games in the pool, tried to teach him simple card games, and sometimes encouraged him to take walks around the neighborhood.
It was sunny and hot, so I made sure both of us wore sunglasses and hats. I took out the pool noodles from the deck storage box. We raced to the other side, the cool water sloshing around us. I held back to give him a chance. He won! We go again; this time going backwards. I won this time! I left Fred to play with his toys for a while before I taught him how to underhand serve a beach ball.
“Nice try! But you bump the ball like this, buddy,” I gently corrected him, fixing his hand motion. He was eventually able to do it with some reassurance. It is not always easy to teach someone how to do something that feels natural to others, but it is important to remember that everyone was a beginner at some point. No one would learn anything if others did not have the patience to explain things.
While I have lost patience at times like any sibling, I also often became a peacemaker or mediator in our household by jumping in to reduce parental stress. I would act like a “nag” towards him at times by focusing on Fred’s outward behavior and quickly answering questions he already knows. As we got older, I would assist him with other things just to be helpful like helping him change out of his bathing suit and trying to teach him how wash the dishes and brush his teeth. Growing up alongside someone on the spectrum required me to become an adaptive, analytical person. Siblings of autistic individuals must learn to navigate unconventional communication styles, anticipate potential challenges, and respond flexibly to ever-changing situations. They often become translators and advocates of their siblings’ needs or behaviors to others. These experiences strengthened my resilience and taught me how to persevere through difficulty with patience and creativity.
Most significantly, my brother is the reason I am as empathetic as I am today. Effectively engaging with an autistic person requires stepping outside of one’s own perspective and learning to see the world differently. This skill has shaped not only how I approach relationships, but also how I understand problems more broadly. Caring for my brother altered my family dynamic and, in turn, profoundly influenced my upbringing and personal values.
Unquestionably, being Fred’s sister has shaped my priorities and long-term goals. I am majoring in political science on an American politics and policy track, with plans to pursue a master’s in public administration. I chose this field in part because it aligns with the strengths I developed through caregiving: critical analysis, adaptability, and the ability to evaluate multiple perspectives. The circumstances I grew up in, along with the values my parents taught me, ingrained these skills within me long before I entered the classroom.
My caregiving experience has prepared me for the future by grounding my ambitions in compassion and practicality. I wish to work at the local level of government, where policies have tangible, immediate impacts on people’s daily lives. Local governance offers the closest point of contact between institutions and communities, allowing for tailored solutions that address real needs. Caring for my brother taught me that meaningful change often happens not through grand gestures, but through consistent, attentive support — and that is the perspective I hope to carry forward into my career.