IF I COULD GIVE MY PAST SELF ANY ADVICE by Laniya

IF I COULD GIVE MY PAST SELF ANY ADVICE by Laniya - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give one piece of advice to my younger self, it would be simple but powerful: Be unapologetically you, and stop shrinking to make other people comfortable.

For too long, I carried the invisible weight of trying to fit into the boxes others built for me. I was the quiet one when they wanted me to be silent, the agreeable one when they wanted no arguments, the “perfect” one when mistakes were inevitable. I’ve learned that being a people pleaser feels good for a moment — but it chips away at you over time. You slowly lose sight of your voice, your dreams, and your own identity.

To my younger self, I would say: Your opinions matter. Your dreams are valid. Your personality — bold, loud, soft, introverted, passionate, complicated — is not something to edit down for the sake of keeping the peace. The people who truly love and respect you will never ask you to dim your light to make theirs shine brighter. They’ll celebrate your uniqueness. And the ones who don’t? You don’t owe them your silence or your conformity.

I spent a great deal of worrying about how others perceived me. Did they think I was too much? Too sensitive? Too ambitious? I watered myself down, thinking it would make me more likable — but all it did was make me disappear piece by piece. The truth is, no matter how hard you try to please everyone, someone will always find a reason to criticize you. So why not live for yourself? Why not stand tall in your truth, your style, your beliefs, and your personality, and attract the people who love the real you?

Being unapologetically yourself isn’t always easy. It means saying “no” when you want to say no, even if it disappoints someone. It means speaking up when something doesn’t sit right with you, even if your voice shakes. It means choosing your peace over approval, your growth over comfort, and your happiness over popularity. But it’s also the most freeing thing you’ll ever do.

I’ve learned that confidence doesn’t come from people clapping for you — it comes from you clapping for yourself, even when no one else is watching. It comes from looking in the mirror and knowing you stayed true to your values, your heart, and your worth.

So, to my younger self: Stop bending, shrinking, and molding yourself into someone you’re not just to be accepted. You are worthy exactly as you are. Your dreams, your goals, your laugh, your boundaries — they are enough. You don’t need permission to take up space. You don’t need validation to chase your dreams. The world needs more people who are authentic, bold, and real — not more people lost in the crowd of “fitting in.”

The right opportunities, friends, and experiences will find you when you stand in your truth. And even if it feels lonely at times, trust me — nothing feels lonelier than losing yourself for the sake of belonging.

Be unapologetically you.