From Intimidating to Manageable: Learning to Lead by Kyra-Lana

From Intimidating to Manageable: Learning to Lead by Kyra-Lana - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

When I first became co-captain of our softball team, I was honestly terrified. The idea of being responsible for other people's performance and emotions felt way too big for me. I kept thinking, "What if I say the wrong thing? What if they don't listen to me? What if I mess up and let everyone down?"

The most intimidating part was dealing with teammates who were struggling. We had this pitcher who would completely freeze up during big games because of anxiety. I had no idea how to help her, and I felt like it was my fault when she had bad games. I remember standing there during timeouts, knowing everyone was looking at me to say something that would fix everything, and I just felt completely lost.

What changed everything was realizing that leadership isn't about having all the answers or being perfect. It's about showing up consistently and actually caring about your people. Instead of trying to give some inspiring speech that would magically solve our pitcher's anxiety, I started working with her one-on-one. We practiced breathing exercises, talked through what was making her nervous, and I just listened to what she actually needed instead of assuming I knew.

The breakthrough moment came when she told me that just knowing someone cared enough to help made her feel less alone out there. It wasn't about me being some amazing leader, it was about being reliable and genuine. Once I stopped trying to be the perfect captain and started just being myself, everything got easier.

Now when teammates are struggling, whether it's with softball or stuff at home, I don't panic about finding the perfect solution. I ask questions, I listen, and I figure out what kind of support they actually need. Sometimes that's helping them work through anxiety, sometimes it's just being someone they can talk to, and sometimes it's coordinating team support when they're dealing with family problems.

What really changed was my understanding of what leadership means. I used to think it was about being the strongest, loudest, most confident person in the room. Now I know it's about creating space for other people to succeed and being the kind of person they can count on when things get tough.

This shift has helped me in other areas too. When I'm mentoring my neighbor Jada, I don't stress about having perfect advice for every problem she brings to me. I focus on listening and helping her figure out her own solutions. When I'm organizing volunteer work, I don't worry about controlling every detail, I trust other people to contribute their strengths.

The intimidating part used to be feeling responsible for everyone else's success. Now I understand that my job is to support people so they can succeed on their own terms. That's way more manageable than trying to fix everything myself.

Looking back, I think the fear came from putting too much pressure on myself to be something I wasn't ready to be yet. Once I accepted that leadership is a skill you develop through practice, not something you're just naturally good at, it became less scary and more like a challenge I could actually work on.
Now when I face new intimidating situations, I remember that feeling overwhelmed at the beginning doesn't mean I can't handle it. It just means I need to break it down, ask for help when I need it, and focus on showing up consistently rather than being perfect right away.