From Losing Everything to Finding Purpose by Kyndell
Kyndell's entry into Varsity Tutor's May 2026 scholarship contest
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From Losing Everything to Finding Purpose by Kyndell - May 2026 Scholarship Essay
One challenge I once found impossible to handle was learning how to keep moving forward after losing my mom right before my senior year of high school. At the time, it felt like my entire life had fallen apart all at once. Watching my mother slowly get sicker was terrifying. She started off with a disease that doctors believed they could treat with medicine, so I kept hoping she would recover. Instead, she became weaker every day. She lost weight rapidly, her hands constantly shook, and her speech became so slurred that sometimes I could barely understand her. I remember being so scared that one day I called an ambulance because I thought she was having a stroke. Later, the hospital told us her kidney levels were dangerously low. For a short time, she seemed to improve, but then she suddenly got worse again. The doctors performed a bone marrow procedure and gave her blood, but instead of helping, it made her condition even worse.
Losing her shattered me emotionally. What made everything harder was that after she passed away, my little sister and I were separated. During the time we needed each other most, we were forced apart. I went from living with my cousin, to my uncle, and now with my dad. Constantly moving from place to place while grieving made me feel unstable and lost. At the time, it felt impossible to focus on school, my future, or even myself because my mind was filled with sadness and worry.
For a long time, I felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened. I struggled with motivation and questioned how I was supposed to continue chasing my goals after losing the person who meant the most to me. Seeing other students enjoy their senior year while I was carrying so much pain made me feel isolated. I missed my mom every single day, and I hated feeling powerless over my own life.
What changed was my mindset. Eventually, I realized I had two choices: allow my pain to destroy me or use it as motivation to create a better future. I began thinking about my little sister and the kind of example I wanted to set for her. I knew I could not give up because I wanted to become someone she could depend on in the future. That realization pushed me to take school and my future more seriously.
Over time, the pain never completely disappeared, but I became stronger at handling it. I learned how to keep going even when life feels unfair. I stopped seeing myself only as someone who experienced loss and started seeing myself as someone capable of overcoming challenges. The experience taught me resilience, responsibility, and maturity. Now, instead of feeling intimidated by hardship, I approach challenges with determination because I know I have already survived one of the hardest moments of my life.
Although losing my mom changed me forever, it also gave me a new sense of purpose. It taught me not to take opportunities for granted and reminded me that success is about creating stability and hope not only for myself but also for the people I love.