A Change of Voice by Kiley

A Change of Voice by Kiley - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

In my freshman year, I would sit alone at classroom tables with my AirPods blasting music; the loud thumping drums and ringing guitar would drown out the sound of people sharing laughs with their friends- something I did not have a lot of.

I liked to stay quiet and talking to people challenged my comfort zone. If I were called on by a teacher, I would shakily respond in a hushed whisper, but I was content not exchanging words with those around me. I did not have small talk with my third-period table partner, who had long red hair, or ask the short boy how his weekend was- that was not my thing. For group projects, I would ask if I could work alone; the idea of having a partner made goosebumps coat my body, and the hairs on the back of my neck rise. When eating lunch, I sat along a dusty brick wall, with no table, just me and the white linoleum floor. During passing period, I walked by myself, getting shoved around in the crowded hallways that smelled like ripe body odor and years of forgotten showers, surrounded by people who did not acknowledge my presence. There were always points where I felt like no one knew I existed, as if I were invisible.

At first, I enjoyed being quiet; it felt like that was all I knew. But once I started seeing big friend groups at homecoming, cute group photos on my Instagram feed, and girls shopping with their friends at the mall, I started to feel alone. While everyone else was hanging out with their best friends, I was doing everything with my mom. Maybe this was not how I wanted my high school years to be, maybe I could be in one of those large friend groups, maybe I could be outgoing and social, maybe just maybe.

Sophomore year, I decided to make a change. On the first day of school, I walked into the packed classroom and asked three girls if I could sit with them. One girl with long black hair wearing a pink sweater, another with curly blonde hair and some black Converse, and the last with short brown hair and a nose piercing. As the one in the sweater moved her backpack off the stool, she looked up at me with a smile and welcomed me to sit with them. I was already one step ahead of where I was last year, no longer sitting alone. During lunch, I sat with the same girls, we shared some white cheddar Cheez-Its and laughed about the corny Kids Bop music blaring through the lunchroom speakers. Another step ahead from Freshman year, having a group to eat lunch with. Throughout the day, I complimented people's outfits in the hallway and raised my hand to answer questions in class, two things I would have never done last year. Classmates, teachers, and even the goldfish in the back of the classroom were shocked at my personality change. From my old self who used to sit quietly and avoid eye contact, to the brand-new me, who initiates small talk and smiles brightly at strangers.

Now, in my senior year, my classroom table is overflowing with friendly smiles and people who care about me. I enjoy working with my friends on group projects, I eat lunch at a round table surrounded by people, and every passing period I see someone to share a quick conversation with. I have grown both in confidence and social skills, two things that I will carry with me forever. If people now think I am annoying, I do not care; I like being loud and sharing my voice.