I won't be angry anymore by Kiara

I won't be angry anymore by Kiara - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

When I was little my mom used to ask me,” Why are you doing all this for your friend?”, followed by,” They wouldn’t do the same for you”. For a long time, I lived by that. No one would ever do for me like I would do for them. From then I would second guess everything. Every action I took and every action other people took, I would ask myself,” What would these people do for me?” It was an extremely selfish mindset that isolated and drained me. I never made or kept real friends, my friendships were only ever surface level because I was scared that they would never truly be there for me and it would be me sacrificing for them, receiving nothing in return. I was mean, hypocritical, and angry more than your average preteen. I wanted friendships shown in movies and shows, friendships that are more like a second family. Then came Covid and I realized that I truly had no one. No one to facetime or text, and no one trying to reach out to me either. I was completely isolated, and I decided I never wanted to feel that alone again. I had to change and get rid of the” they wouldn’t do the same for you” mindset. This thought process is now one of my greatest strengths. It takes a lot to look into yourself and see how you're doing yourself a disservice. I won't be angry anymore. I will make connections of more depth. I carried that strength and the ability to apply it in all aspects of my life. I refuse to stay in that selfish mindset. I refuse to miss out on connections and opportunities based on a principle that harms me more than it helps me. Now I can describe myself as a genuine, kind, and peaceful person who does things with her own intentions not expecting anything in return. Living with a mindset that says," I'm ok with doing this for someone whether or not they give something in return", allowing me to evolve and become the person I am today.