Talking the Talk by Josh

Talking the Talk by Josh - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

I used to hate public speaking and performance, but now I love it even if it still makes me nervous because it's a gift to be given to others.

It’s a great fear of most people, not wanting to be made a fool of in front of others. I remember my first big day: I stood on that stage, and my voice trembled—no, it shook, not in a tremolo of vocal precision but in a worried way. My twin brother had been taking guitar lessons from someone who, at the start of the summer, would rent out a tiny music hall and give his students the chance to see what it was like to perform for real, outside of his studio and in front of real people, mostly parents. His bandmates and him were missing a singer, so I was allowed to get together and practice for their concert. With the lights shining, we could hardly see the crowd of parents packing the small auditorium, and the monitors that *helped* us hear ourselves also, humbly, *made* us hear ourselves. Even though my band-mates and I weren’t so fond of hearing ourselves speak, we learned to get used to the sound of our own voice, for our own good. I took a shaky breath, nodded to my brother on guitar, and the drummer hit the first beat of Stevie Wonder’s "Superstition". We didn't rock the house in our short set, but we enjoyed our time and so did our fammilies there. I helped again the next year. In the year between those summers I went on to give small talks across the northwest US in schools and churches, and got used to talking with people both onstage and offstage, even if it always made me nervous.

What I learned which helped me: it is a gift to bear the burden of public speaking for other people.
We all want to be talked to, but don’t like to start talking; we want to be seen, also want the stress taken away by someone willing to look at us. At times, I have seen homeless people on the street, asked them their name and handed them fruit or a gift card. I hear my name from friends and family all the time; living on the street, when’s the last time they heard their name spoken back to them by someone other than the Starbucks barista? We all want to be seen, even the homeless and rejected, but we’re too afraid to be the one to start that conversation, and so are they. By taking the first step, onstage and off, others have the burdens of their own lives shouldered by somebody else for a while.

Oftentimes, in my head I’ll question myself, “That woman looks so put together, maybe she's happy and just looks sad today.” Or, "Maybe they'll laugh at me even if I do well." But, when I take the chance to ask a stranger “How are you? Can I help you with something?” and really mean it, someone who might feel invisible can have the freedom of being found in their mess, or in their excitement, or in an onstage performance feeling personal, able to share their own lives by my choice to take the chance and speak. When we do, it’s as if the whole world takes a sigh of relief.