Learning I Can’t Fix Everything: Lessons from Jessica Kettelhut by Jessica

Learning I Can’t Fix Everything: Lessons from Jessica Kettelhut by Jessica - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

I’m a fixer. I want to fix everyone’s problems, but I have had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot fix everything, even if I want to.

While in high school, I had a friend who was homeless. He either couch hopped or slept in a car with his mom. It was truly sad. We decided it would be best to take him until he was prepared to go to college. I was so grateful that our home became a safe place, however, he often struggled deeply with depression and anxiety, and he overall felt unwanted. I was determined to help him in any way possible. I took him on like a project and I wanted to help solve every issue he was facing.

At first, I tried to do exactly that. I helped him with school assignments and assisted him through college and scholarship applications. I did everything I could to make sure he had what he needed to feel supported. But as time went on, I began to feel overwhelmed. I realized that no matter how much I cared about my friend, I realized I couldn’t take responsibility for someone else’s emotions.

That realization was hard to accept, but it showed me I could care deeply while still protecting my own well-being. Taking a step back gave me the ability to discover that I could lead with empathy while still setting healthy boundaries for myself. I discovered that real strength is not taking care of my friend or everyone else but it’s about supporting and standing by them while not losing myself in the process
This was a major wakeup call, and it changed the way I approached relationships, community service, and leadership. Instead of trying to fix everyone’s problems, I began focusing on inspiring them. I learned to listen more, offer help when asked, and trust that others will grow in their own time. That shift made me a stronger mentor, better leader, and a more grounded person.

Since then, this strength has shaped every part of who I am. In my volunteer work, I now prioritize encouragement over control. As a tutor and student leader, I create space for others to ask questions, make mistakes, and build confidence on their own. Even academically, I have learned to manage pressure with resilience rather than perfection.

As time went on, this experience also strengthened my sense of purpose. As I continue pursuing a degree in civil engineering, a field that requires both technical skill and responsibility, I apply this lesson to how I learn, lead, and grow. Designing infrastructure that serves communities means understanding limits, planning thoughtfully, and making decisions that support long-term stability. The lessons I learned will strengthen me in my future career and provide me with a strong foundation.

I’m still a fixer at heart, but I now understand that fixing doesn’t always mean solving everyone’s problems. Sometimes it means showing up, being supportive, and trusting someone else to find their way. Learning that I couldn’t take on everyone’s problems was difficult, but it changed me in the best way. I became more aware of my limits, more grounded in my relationships, and more confident in who I am.