Fear is promising but change is conquering by Jayla

Fear is promising but change is conquering by Jayla - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

Adulting is what I found the most intimidating but Adulting made me realize that you can alter your process of how to be an adult. Rushing made me feel the hardships you had to endure in order sustain your human life and a good life for yourself. This is a story about how I thought I had it all together but I realized I need to be better prepared for anything to happen as a young adult. My best friend was my sandbox. We grew up together, we went to school together, we went home together, we were always together. As we became older, we became more distant. But not only was I his best friend, I was his family and his light, trying to guide him to success because I've seen so many people fall into the illusions of the streets. As much as I tried, it wasn’t enough, and he was later killed. I was extremely sad, but I was also very angry because I wondered where I went wrong for him not to be here now. Or what could I have done to save him from that exact moment? These questions made me want to go even harder for everything, but it gave me a hot head. I started rushing a lot of things for myself, causing anxiety because I felt as if I wasn’t where I wanted to be in my life. During this time of me grieving for months, it started to create more tension between me and my mom. I left her house because I knew what I couldn’t handle at that time, dealing with anxiety on top of stress on top of constant arguing, it wasn’t right for me.

My friend took me in along with her dad, I had nothing. She encouraged me to keep going, regardless of how much my life was in shambles. I knew what it really felt like to be on my own. I have always had a job since I was 14, and I did a lot for myself because I always had that mentality, one day I am going to be grown up, and handouts are not something you should ever need. Although I was never really on my own before, without my mom ever being there. I was confused, lost, and hurt, but I got up every day, continuing to work, averaging 60-70 hrs. I was even doing my work for school, looking at colleges, receiving college opportunities while I was working, but I was exhausted. I felt like this was my life. Once I knew all that I was receiving during that time of hardship, I knew that God had me, and I knew that I would still succeed, no matter how bad the storm was; the grass is always greener on the other side.
So, you want to know how I keep pushing through setbacks and still structure myself to keep the plan of success in my rearview. It's because I know where I come from, and I know I don’t want to stay stuck in poverty, so I keep going, hoping and praying that I not only make it but give back to everyone else who couldn’t.