If I Could Give My Past Self One Piece of Advice by Jakira

If I Could Give My Past Self One Piece of Advice by Jakira - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could sit across from my past self, I would look her in the eyes, take her hands and say “Don’t carry the weight of the world by yourself. Let people in even when you’re hurting. Especially when you’re hurting.” I used to believe I had to be strong all the time. That holding it together meant staying silent, moving forward, in pushing past pain like it didn’t exist. I used to always tell myself that tears were a distraction and that falling apart wasn’t an option. But looking back, I realize that strength isn’t just about standing tall. Strength is admitting that you’re tired and letting someone hold you while you catch your breath. I wish I could go back to the version of me who is always “okay” and tell her that “okay” isn’t always honest. I’d tell her that pretending doesn’t heal pain. And I’d tell her that what she’s carrying, whether it’s grief, pressure or disappointment, doesn’t make her weak. It makes her human.
When my great grandmother passed away I didn’t just lose her, I also lost myself. She was my second mother the one who raised me, comforted me and gave me a safe place to land. Her absence left the silence I wasn’t prepared for, but instead of reaching out, I shut down. I wore my strength like an armor, but inside I was crumbling. I was scared that if I slowed down long enough to feel the lost, I’d never recover. But grief has a way of catching up with you, so does pressure and eventually it did. That’s why I would also tell my past self, “You’re allowed to feel, you’re allowed to rest, and you’re allowed to need help”. I’ve learned that healing doesn’t come from pretending that you’re fine. It comes from being brave enough to be vulnerable. It comes from letting people see you shed a tear or two.
Lastly, I would tell her that everything you’re going through is shaping the woman you’re becoming. Every setback, every heartbreak, and every lonely moment – is all teaching you how to hold space for others, how to find your voice, and how to keep moving forward with grace and grit. You may not always feel seen, but you are always growing.