Do It For Yourself, Not Others by Jaelynn

Do It For Yourself, Not Others by Jaelynn - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

For a long time, I thought that making the right decision meant doing what would make everyone else happy. I often considered what other people would say or expect from me before I thought about what I actually wanted. I always wanted to make the people around me proud, but I eventually realized that constantly trying to meet other people’s expectations made it difficult to understand my own goals. One conversation with my uncle helped me look at my decisions differently and taught me a lesson that has shaped how I approach my education and growth.
My uncle told me that I should make decisions that benefit me and my goals rather than focusing on pleasing other people. His advice was very simple, but it made me realize how often I worried about other people’s opinions. I began to understand that there is a difference between listening to advice and allowing someone’s expectation to control my decisions. While the people around me can have valuable perspectives, at the end of the day, I am the one who lives with the consequences of the choices that I make. His feedback encouraged me to think more about what I wanted for myself instead of worrying about what would make other people happy.
Since that conversation, I have begun giving more care to my own goals and motivations. This was especially important when thinking about my education and future career. Being a first-generation college student, I know that there are a lot of outside expectations for what my future should look like. But instead of allowing those expectations to determine my path, I learned to think about what I actually wanted to accomplish. I realized that I had a desire to become an educator because I enjoy working with children and want to become a teacher. My experience working at a summer camp for 3 years helped confirm this goal by showing me how meaningful it can be to encourage and support students.
My uncle’s feedback has also fundamentally changed the way I approach learning. I used to think that asking for help meant that I was doing something wrong. Now, I understand that growth requires a willingness to listen to others while also thinking for myself. I have learned that I can accept feedback without automatically changing my goals to match someone else’s expectations. Instead, I consider what I can learn from the advice, decide whether it applies to my own goals, and use it to improve myself. This new mindset has made me much more confident in asking questions, learning from my mistakes, and making choices that benefit my future.
As I begin college, I know that I will encounter various forms of advice, whether it be from my professors, classmates, family members, or others who want me to succeed. I will now be able to remain open to that feedback without forgetting the lesson my uncle taught me: other people’s opinions can guide me, but they should not determine my future. Learning to make decisions based on my own goals has taught me that personal growth is about learning from others, understanding myself, and having the courage to pursue the future that I want.