Unexpressed and therefore Suppressed by Imaan

Imaan's entry into Varsity Tutor's October 2025 scholarship contest

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Unexpressed and therefore Suppressed by Imaan - October 2025 Scholarship Essay

The things we leave unsaid. What impact does hesitation have on our realities? What impact does it have on fate? Reading One Day by David Nicholls left me wondering about the impact of hesitation on my own life. I have never approached a situation with ill intention, so why hesitate? I didn’t fear rejection and I didn’t fear being slapped with a sense of reality, so I found myself reflecting on the root of my own uncertainty. The confusion felt permanent, until it hit me, I wanted to feel in control. To be in control of my own reality, even though it came at a cost. To have some aspects of the present day be certain, as a result of my own hesitation. I soon realized that the reality I was in felt like a constant delay, like I was waiting for things to happen in the future that could happen in the present. This took me out of a flow, a flow that Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley could have had in One Day.

Dexter and Emma always thought of each other, from the moment they met. Both sides of them believed that they could’ve been together in a past life, but they convinced themselves that right now they were committed to the fast life. As though their undeniable appreciation for each other wouldn’t fit into their two realities. They seemed successful in turning each other into distant memories, but there was always something pulling them back to each other. So, over the course of twenty years, both Dexter and Emma were drawn to each other subconsciously but refused to let each other into their realities. Part of it was a fear of losing what was built. Part of it was worry that things would be out of control if two realities combined. Fears aside, the cost of their hesitation was lost time together. In the end, Dexter and Emma allow themselves to bask in the truth behind their emotions for each other. It starts off strong, like everything is falling into place as it should’ve twenty years ago. Until Emma gets hit by a car while she is on a bike ride to meet with Dexter for a house viewing. Life was never the same for Dexter again. His reality set in, that their time together was not only cut short, but purposefully delayed. They constantly thought of each other and consistently made an effort to see each other at least once a year, but they both convinced themselves that’s how far it can go. By the time that they allowed their feelings to transform their lives, their story was coming to an end.

Through the lessons of Dexter and Emma’s story, I have learnt to appreciate the flow of life. It is important to understand that to an extent, control is an illusion. Letting things happen in my life, even when I can’t control their outcomes, have brought some of the best experiences full of growth and insight for the relationship I have with myself. It is in the acceptance of what could happen, without the power of letting it debilitate me, that has allowed me to reach goals that I didn’t believe were possible. So in the final words of this piece of writing, I say chase your goals, share how you feel, send the text, take the picture, apply for the job… Let life take you to new heights. Hard work in good faith will work out for you and I. Don’t live in such a way that you’d look back and wish you could have said or done something twenty years sooner.

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