Feel Free to Fail by Gabrielle

Feel Free to Fail by Gabrielle - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

The clock read 2:30 a.m…again. I waited until the night before to complete the homework assignment I had known about for weeks. As I sat at my desk, I could not help but feel overwhelming frustration and disappointment in myself. I still had not learned from my past mistakes.
All throughout high school, I was a chronic procrastinator. I spent countless nights awake until the crack of dawn completing whatever work was due the next day. I wrote every essay just hours before the deadline, studied for every exam the night before, and turned in every assignment at the last second. Procrastination seemed to follow me to every piece of homework, no matter how big or small.
The only thing that could motivate me to do my school work seemed to be the dread I felt pressed upon me by an impending deadline. I would experience immense stress over each assignment, yet not start it until the day it was due. At the time, I chalked it up to being too busy or not motivated enough. But the underlying issue went much deeper. Growing up, school came easy to me. A’s appeared on my papers and tests with minimal effort, and praise from my teachers fueled my drive to succeed. I soon began attaching my worth as a person to my academic standing. However, when I reached high school, things changed. My classes became more difficult, my assignments more rigorous, and I started to procrastinate on every assignment as the thought of doing poorly, the thought of failing, terrified me. And so developed my habit of chronic procrastination. This resulted in countless all-nighters, poorly completed assignments, overwhelming fatigue, diminished self worth, and never pushing myself to accomplish more than the bare minimum.
Only once I reached college did I realize I needed to make a change. I knew that my workload was only going to become more difficult, and time management would be vital. I needed to overcome my fear of failure, which masked itself as procrastination. To do this, I started by changing the way I approached failure. I began to shift my mindset to see it as a good thing. I told myself that every failed attempt at something, whether it be a new skill or an assignment, was not a bad thing, but a way for me to grow. Every failure shed light on how I could improve myself.
I read stories of successful, influential people whom I looked up to. I watched video lectures and TED talks by individuals who directed their lives and habits in ways I wished to emulate. I grew to understand that the most successful people –doctors, entrepreneurs, teachers, authors, producers– did not reach their goals by giving up after the first failed attempt, but by trying over and over again. These people all devised a plan of action and made sure to follow though. Inspired by this, I started implementing small practices into my daily life. I began utilizing manageable to-do lists, studying with classmates, and pushing myself to try new things, even if they seemed daunting or hard. I made the conscious effort to begin working on assignments earlier and made sure to prioritize my sleep and overall health.
Slowly, I started to see positive changes in my life. My relationship with academics greatly improved. I no longer saw it as a measure of self worth, but as a way to expand my knowledge of the world and as a way to connect with those around me. My self confidence was no longer attached to a letter grade. Assignments were completed well before their due date and I could now interact with homework in a much healthier way. My overall stress decreased and I felt like myself again. Though I do still occasionally procrastinate, as any person does, I approach each instance with much more patience for myself and less fear of failing.
I have just completed my first year at college, and my experience has been significantly better than that of high school. I have learned that failure is in no way a bad thing. The world would not be where it is today if it were not for failure, because in failing we learn to try again and adjust. Every failure or hiccup we experience is a stepping stone to growth and becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be. The only true failure we ever face in life is the failure of not trying.