Transforming Challenge into Advocacy by Emma

Transforming Challenge into Advocacy by Emma - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

Growing up throughout my teenage years, wherever I am, whether it’s at school, at home, or in society, I’ve always felt safe. I’ve felt supported. I’ve felt respected. Those around me recognize that as a teenager, I’m bound to make mistakes but that it’s a part of growing up and learning. However, as soon as I put on my bright yellow uniform and step out onto the field as a soccer referee, I feel vulnerable and the instant I make an unfavorable call, I am no longer a human with feelings. I become the object of anger, accusation, profanity, and verbal abuse.
As a certified referee for the last five years, I’ve attended hours of referee training sessions, officiated over 150 soccer matches of all different levels, and even a Division 1 college match, all of which have prepared me to carry out my responsibilities as a referee and maintain composure in the face of high stress situations, until this game. I was the head referee for an 11-year-old boys tournament championship game, a Rhode Island team versus a North Carolina team. As soon as the game started, it was intense. Boys were fouling one another left and right, dangerous plays, roars of discontent, and intense verbal abuse covered the field. I handed out multiple yellow cards to keep the game under control. Instantly, spectators from all directions began to yell: “Are you blind?,” "Go home and play with your barbie dolls," "What the heck ref!!!.” Every call, unfavorable to either team, even the right calls, continued to trigger more emotional and verbal abuse and eventually, a mob mentality swept over the sidelines and the field.
In a game that should have been a fun experience for youth players to get some exercise, spend time with their friends, and compete in an uplifting environment, it instead became a stage for hostility, pressure, and misplaced aggression. That night, I was deeply unsettled thinking about the subtle and blatant incivilities that regularly occur within youth sports and began to think about how I could help address this culture. Over the course of the following year, I quickly learned how this one youth game completely transformed the way I understood my own strength and abilities in advocating for change and continuing to maintain integrity, fairness, and composure, even in the face of adversity and hostility.
Within months following that game, I delivered a TEDTalk presentation to over 800 people sharing about the normalization of incivility within youth sports and the harmful effects it’s having on youth. Unsure if the months of research and preparation had made a difference, it seemed to have a ripple effect. The Executive Director of the Virginia High School League (VHSL) attended and requested my presentation for addressing audiences across the state about sportsmanship, and our school Athletic Director asked for an authored letter discussing the beauty of high school sports which was shared with our school’s sports coaches. Weeks later, a female leader within the state invited me to a Women’s Female Leadership Conference that she was hosting and the local referee assignor invited me to speak at the 2025 Coaches and Referee Symposium to over 200 soccer coaches and referees. It was an honor the following year to be named the Central Virginia Soccer Referee Association Youth Female Referee of the Year.
I am continually blown away by the ways I have grown through that one match. What began as an incredibly challenging experience that initially hurt, ended up turning into a powerful opportunity for me to grow and understand the impact of advocacy. I am proud of the ways I have dealt with and grown through this experience and look forward to continuing to support and empower new referees, advance along the referee path, and apply these advocacy skills to further issues I come across.