Being Alone by Ella

Being Alone by Ella - May 2026 Scholarship Essay

I have always been intimidated by being alone. When I was 10 years old, I never wanted to do anything without my friends. Even when I really wanted to do something, a sport, an activity outside of school, I never wanted to do it without a friend or someone I knew. In 7th grade I had a friend who, to me, felt like my "other half". We did almost everything together and one day in class she had the idea to sign up for soccer. She asked if I would do it with her, "Sure!" I had exclaimed, I went home and told my parents I wanted to play soccer in the spring, and I needed to get shoes, a ball, shin guards, and clothes for practice. We went to Dicks the following day. My parents' spending I'm not even sure how much money just to get me the things I needed. Upon arriving home, I called my friend on my iPod touch and told her I was so excited and asked when and how we could sign up. This is when I was told she no longer wanted to play anymore, but that I still could if I wanted.

I was distraught. A new place, with new people, without anybody I know, let alone any of my friends. After much thought, and the money still spent, my mom pushed me to do it alone. Terrified, I went to practice the first day and met a girl, Jalen. Both of us were nervous, and despite being the same age she had “taken me under her wing”. We were partners for the entire season, warmups, scrimmages, passing practice; we were together. Although we didn't stay friends after the season was over, I had learned a huge lesson at 12 years old. Being alone and doing things by yourself is not something that you need to fear, nor does it make you a loser, and if you’re scared, someone else probably is too.

I believe without that push from my parents to do soccer anyway I would've spent much of my childhood petrified of trying new things. Not because I was afraid of failing, but because I didn’t want to do them alone. Even after my friend left me to join the team alone, I was not immediately an independent person by any means. This was just the first of many instances that pushed me, little by little, to where I am today.

Within the last year, I have made it a goal of mine that if I want to do something new, go somewhere new, try new food, I will not let being alone be the thing that stops me from doing so. I have always wanted to travel but having to go alone has discouraged me. Last summer after going through a breakup, I decided to take a trip to New York by myself. I was really nervous to be so far away alone, but it ended up being the thing that made me realize how much I enjoy doing things alone now. Without that breakup, I wonder when, or if I ever would’ve booked that first trip alone.

There have been many things throughout my life that have pushed me to face the challenge and fear of being alone. However, I can now say that even though there is still some anxiety in doing and going places alone, I no longer let it stop me from doing things that I want to do or seeing places I want to see.