To my past self by Elena

To my past self by Elena - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give my past self one piece of advice, it would be to stop being so hard on myself and comparing my life to other people’s. I spent way too much of my teenage years thinking I wasn’t good enough just because my life didn’t look like everyone else's. If I could, I would go back and tell myself that it’s okay and to grow at my own pace. When I was younger, I always felt like I was behind. I’d look at other girls on social media and think, “Why don’t I look like that” or “Why can’t I be that confident or successful?”. There were times where I even felt like I was behind in life, simply because of things like seeing everyone else my age get their license and start driving and seeing their parents buy them cars. While I was still riding the school bus and getting driven everywhere because I still didn’t have mine. Something that I didn’t realize is that most people only show their best moments, and even the people who looked the happiest on social media were going through things too. I judge myself so harshly, comparing my every move to people who had totally different lives and experiences. I never gave myself the credit I deserved, even if it was just little things that I accomplished in life. Like me continuing to keep going even when life got really tough, but I didn’t see things like that as enough.Looking back all I can see is how unfair I was being towards myself. I was growing and learning like everyone else, and I was doing my best with what I had. I wish I had treated myself with more kindness and patience and gave myself more credit. Now that I’m 18, I’m starting to understand a little more about life, and understand that everyone has their own journey and life and everyone moves at different paces. We all have different timelines, and just because something hasn’t happened yet for me doesn’t mean it never will. Life gets stressful sometimes, and it’s easy to fall back into those habits of comparing and overthinking but I just try to be more gentle with myself now. I try to notice the small wins in my life and give myself space to grow without pressure. I know that I’m not supposed to have everything figured out at 18, and know that that’s okay. So to my past self, and to my present self as well; You are enough. You are doing your best, and that’s more than enough.