You Are Not What Happened To You by Devin

You Are Not What Happened To You by Devin - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could give one piece of advice to my past self, it would be this: You are not what happened to you. You are who you choose to become.

As a child, I endured sexual abuse, a reality that shattered my sense of safety before I even understood what safety meant. That experience planted a deep-rooted silence in me, one that whispered that I was broken, unworthy, or somehow to blame. As I grew up, those whispers echoed louder when I began to understand that I was a gay Black male navigating a world where each part of my identity could be seen as a liability rather than a gift.

Growing up, I often felt like I was wearing a mask over a wound. I had to appear strong even when I felt weak. I had to hide parts of myself, my pain, my queerness, my softness, because I feared they would be used against me. I existed in survival mode, trying to manage the emotional weight of my trauma while also trying to be accepted in schools, friendships, and communities that didn’t always make room for someone like me.

But despite the silence, something inside me kept moving forward. With time, therapy, and mentorship, I learned that my trauma didn’t define me. My response to it did. I began the hard work of reclaiming my voice, my story, and most importantly, my power. I realized that strength isn’t the absence of pain. It’s choosing to rise in the face of it.

If I could speak to my younger self now, I’d hold his hand and say, “None of this was your fault. You are not dirty. You are not wrong. You are not too much or not enough. You are exactly who you are meant to be. One day, your survival will become your strength, and your story will become someone else’s light.”

That one piece of advice — you are not what happened to you — continues to guide me as I pursue my goals. It reminds me that I have the power to define who I am and what I will build, literally and figuratively.

Architectural and Civil engineering has become a path of purpose for me. It’s more than equations and systems; it's about designing solutions, building structures, and solving problems that make the world better. My dream is to contribute to projects that serve communities like the one I came from, especially those that are often overlooked or underserved. I want to show others that someone with a past like mine, someone who once felt invisible, can create something lasting and impactful.

Pursuing an engineering degree is part of my commitment to shaping a better future. Not a future just for myself, but for those who come after me. I want to represent what it looks like to break cycles and to rebuild, using both personal resilience and technical skill. With this scholarship, I will be one step closer to achieving that. It would allow me to focus on my education, to grow as a leader, and to become someone who designs solutions not just with intelligence, but with empathy.

To my past self: you didn’t deserve what happened, but you do deserve everything beautiful that is coming. And to the scholarship committee: thank you for allowing me to share my truth. I hope this essay is not just a reflection of where I’ve been but a declaration of where I’m going.