Don’t not say anything by Desiree

Don’t not say anything by Desiree - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

Now that we’re 18 and freshly graduated from high school. I’d tell little me, you have to start speaking up for yourself.
You spent so much time bottling things up, staying quiet, and shutting people out instead of just saying how you really felt. I know it felt easier and less scary that way, like avoiding conflict would keep the peace. But all it really did was leave you hurting alone while everyone else stayed unaware of what you were going through. Holding everything in didn’t make things better. It just made the pain sit heavier.
The truth is, communication is everything. Looking back, in so many relationships like friendships, family, and love. The biggest issue always came down to not expressing your feelings. I know you thought you had to rationalize everything before speaking or that maybe your feelings weren’t “valid enough” to bring up. But Desi, your feelings were always valid. You don’t have to carry the weight of everyone else’s emotions while ignoring your own.
It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to say something when someone makes you uncomfortable. It’s okay to set boundaries without feeling guilty. You can still be respectful and kind while being honest and assertive. That balance is something I wish you had learned earlier, because it would’ve saved you so much inner conflict.
So if I could tell past-me anything, it’d be to speak up. Not with anger, but with love for yourself and for the people you care about. I promise it’ll help you grow stronger relationships with your mom, your friends, your partner and most importantly, with yourself.