The Quiet Cost of Self-Neglect by Desirae

The Quiet Cost of Self-Neglect by Desirae - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could go back, I would tell my past self to put myself first. I know it sounds selfish, and it is, but to an extent you should always put yourself first. This doesn’t mean cutting someone off at a light so you can get to work faster or going to a party the weekend before an exam because you were stressed and wanted to let loose. This means before all else you need to make sure you are being the person you want to be as much as possible and caring for yourself so you can help others around you. Now the life of a college student makes you test yourself a lot, and it is important to put your academics and mental health first. You may want to help someone, but at some point, you have to put yourself first, so you don’t sink with them. That cookout run can wait till the day after your exam, unless it is your break. That shopping trip you promised your friend you would do this week doesn't need to happen on a Wednesday because she is free and bored. Maybe even sleeping in a little more or going to sleep earlier so you feel rested the next day instead of having the 4-hour conversation about what shows you need to watch. All this said, you can’t just blow the people you care about off in your life. For me specifically, I wish I could tell myself to focus on me when I needed it the most, when I felt getting out of bed was a top achievement of the day. Life isn’t easy, but it took me 2 years too long to start working on myself slowly. You can’t help people when you are so much of a mess that you are one wrong look away from a breakdown. You need to put yourself first and get help if you ever feel like that. I needed to do that rather than playing savior for everyone around me because I broke, and the pieces will probably take way more time to piece back together than it took to break them. The best way I found was to live life like you are the person you want to become, and you will eventually become that person. Make sure your actions line up with your priorities in life. So if you want to be that 4.0 student, make sure your actions regularly show you are striving for that goal. If you want to finally reach a point in your life where you can manage your depression, be happy about the small moments and happy you felt good that day. You are not going to be perfect 100% of the time, and that's ok, but make sure you reward yourself for the small improvements because you aren't going to change overnight unless you have some magic fairy dust.