Identity crisis. by Ariauna

Identity crisis. by Ariauna - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

I was Thirteen. A kid. Just now growing into my body and mind, learning things through school and my mom, and having to navigate through life at such a young age. A big thing that peaked my interest was discovering your ‘sexuality’ and wondering how it worked since I had friends that considered themselves as apart of the LGBTQ+ community.

My first encounter was with my best friend, Gabby. I remember vividly having a crush on her, mistaking it for admiration. I’ve always thought she was cool, funny, kind, and so pretty - which is what every girls thought of their best friends. But my heart always fluttered when she talked to me, hug me, hold me whenever I was down, and eventually I told her about how I felt. She had always told me she liked girls and explained how I might have a crush on her, in which I didn’t want to believe at all. Of course us being young, we didn’t do much with that information.

From then until I was Fourteen, I went through a rough time figuring out who I was on the inside and if I really felt attracted to girls. I did I have a few crushes here and there, but never acted out on the thought because I didn’t 100% know if it was attraction or admiration. Until freshman year, this pretty girl came up to me and introduced herself. Her name was Kate; she had red curly hair, a pretty smile, long black lashes, and was slightly taller - maybe 5’5.

She was practically my first ever crush that I acted out on. We became friends, sat together in class and lunch, and hung out outside of school. We were together so much my mom called us ‘Two peas in a pod’ - and it made me so happy. Being in her presence was like a breath of fresh air, being able to be myself around her was probably what I liked about her the most, but good things always come to an end.

I eventually confessed to her and told her the feelings I couldn’t describe in words, explaining how I didn’t know what I was or why I was feeling this way about her. She told be everything I needed to know; that I was considered bisexual and that I had feelings for her. Of course, she rejected me and only told me she saw us as friends - which really crushed my heart but made me grow as a person.

I discovered a new thing about myself and my identity, learning more everyday and eventually feeling comfortable enough to be open bout my sexuality. At first it was hard - having to explain myself to everyone that didn’t understand, but overtime it got easier and everyone got less judgmental.

Now that I have the knowledge I do today, I believe that experience has changed my life for the better and helped me understand who I really am on the inside and out. I am glad for the experience I was given and taking it with me through life.