Being graded was the way to confidence by Andrea

Being graded was the way to confidence by Andrea - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

Walking onto my college campus for the first time as a young 18 year old was scary; I was new to formal education as an individual who had been homeschooled for the entirety of their academic career to that point. Oddly, I remember being worried about forgetting to raise my hand in class as that isn’t a part of my homeschooled experience. That first day I checked my schedule and realized that I was in the building I needed to be for my second class but not my first and got slightly lost on the way to my first class. I doubted myself and my ability to be able to perform at the level of my peers. I knew I was smart or at least my mom always said I was but I think I always figured she was at least a little bit biased.
While I had grades throughout high school while being homeschooled, they weren’t something I could check and follow. I got good grades in high school with my graduating GPA being 3.85 but I never felt the ownership over my grades and furthermore my intellect the way I did with college. While my mom, who was the primary educator, was fair with grading I didn’t feel like I truly earned them; I did my assignments and participated in my academics but my grades didn’t feel like mine. Getting good grades in college however, that I could be sure I earned! I loved seeing how I could hold my own academically against peers who had gone through more traditional schooling. I was proud of myself every time I got an A on a test or high marks on an assignment. I adored having a rubric to follow and check off while working on writing assignments or class projects.
While attending college I experienced a strange combination of stress and anxiety regarding getting the best grades I could and an intense pride and excitement for learning and being graded throughout the next three years while I completed my associates degrees and later took my board examination to be certified as an occupational therapy assistant. While looking back now as a twenty-five year old with a more matured frontal lobe who is returning to school to pursue a bachelors, I still feel that excitement about learning and chasing that academic high. I was talking to a co-worker recently about going back to school and mentioned taking chemistry and microbiology. She immediately looked worried and asked if I thought I would be okay and be able to handle the workload. While that question would have pushed me towards an anxiety attack at 18, now I could only grin and respond that I was confident in my abilities.