From a Scary Change of Plans to a Resolved Future by Amber

From a Scary Change of Plans to a Resolved Future by Amber - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If you asked me a year ago what my plan for the future was, I would be wrestling in college with my scholarship to Illinois Wesleyan University while working to become an engineer. My name is Amber Spencer, and I have wrestled all four years of high school. Over the last two years, I dedicated myself and put everything I had into wrestling. From the weekend runs, to the late practices, to the extensive texts with my coach talking about wrestling, it had become the center of all my decisions. All this was paying off when I successfully placed 8th in the California State Meet at the end of my junior year. With every tournament I did and every mile I ran, I could feel myself getting close to the dream of becoming a collegiate wrestler and reaching the top of the State podium.

When the state meeting came around in February of my senior year, sadly, it all ended early. I was having my best wrestling season yet, going into the state meet with 30 wins and 1 loss, ranked 1st in San Diego, and 4th in California. This all changed in the second match of the meet when I ended up tearing my ACL, medial and lateral meniscus, and spraining my MCL. There were so many emotions and thoughts going through my head at this moment. These ranged from thoughts about the pain in my knee to the new possibility of having a future without wrestling, to thoughts of letting down those who had helped make my wrestling success possible. Honestly, I was most scared of the idea of letting down my coach. He had always encouraged me to dream big and gave me the skills to reach my goals. I was in such disbelief about what just happened, and about the idea of not making the dreams we’d worked hard for over the last two years come true. I didn't want to let him down or cause him to see me any differently.

Looking back, I don't even know where this fear came from. He had always supported me through the hard losses, the injuries, and all the emotions of the last four years. He never left my side or ever stopped believing in me for anything, both on and off the mat. He continued to be an amazing coach when even when I was too scared to admit it, seeing the fear in my eyes and general struggle to walk, my coach knew I was done.

As I’ve learned throughout this endeavor, “everything happens for a reason,” and while in the moment things might be hard or make you wonder, “why me,” they are important in shaping us into who we are. I wish in that moment I was less scared of letting down one of my best friends and more focused on what was happening to my knee. In reality, my coach was always proud of the work I had put in, and he would never be disappointed in me making a choice that would keep me healthy and safe. He was there for me as a coach when I became a California State Placer, and a year later, he was there for me as a friend when I pulled out of the state meet and was crying in his arms.

In the time since the state meet, I’ve seen my plans for the future completely change, and have gone through the scary phase of uncertainty, trying to figure out my next steps in life. I’ve learned the importance of perseverance and not dwelling on what went wrong, but rather, focusing on what went right. I’ve gotten to see my mental health improve without the athletic pressures I’ve felt to succeed, strengthen my relationships with those closest to me in my newly gained free time, and arguably most important, I’ve gotten to learn who I am without the sport that I spent years basing my worth on, a problem I didnt know I had so extremely till this injury. While I do have hard days, with my recovery or general life, my amazing support system is here supporting me through it all. Between my mom, best friend, and coach, they have helped me through the hardest part of my recovery with a smile on my face. From the calls during our overnight hospital stay after surgery complications, to spray painting my crutches to match my prom dress, to celebrating my new commitment to Grand Canyon University.

Although in the moment it seemed like everything went wrong, I’m still on the path I was meant to be on, and in the end, everything is working out. I feel like if I just took a deep breath in those scary moments and was more honest about my knee or how scared I was, it would have allowed me to calm down and not let the bad thoughts get in my head. I also plan to use this experience to grow and better my coping skills when plans don't go as expected in the future. While in the moment, this was one of the scariest experiences of my life, I now cannot wait to see what the future holds because of it.