Be Kind To Yourself by Sehej

Be Kind To Yourself by Sehej - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could go back and give myself one piece of advice when I was younger, I would tell myself to “Stop being so hard on yourself.” This sounds simple, cliche even, yet I wish I had learned this lesson earlier: self-compassion isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a strength. I let myself believe the opposite for far too long.

Growing up, I set impossibly high standards for myself. I remember getting an 87 on a history test and crying in my room for hours, convinced I wasn’t smart enough. That single moment overshadowed all the times I succeeded, and it stuck with me far longer than any praise ever did. A grade below an A felt like a failure. A missed goal in a game meant that I had let my team down. A quiet moment in class made me feel like I was in the background. I held onto my every mistake, obsessing over every flaw as if it was all that defined me. I didn't just aim for perfection, I demanded it.

What I didn’t understand back then was how limiting that mindset could be. I called it “driven” and “disciplined”, but I was overlooking the importance of giving myself grace. I thought that being hard on myself was the key to success, mistaking pressure for progress. I believed that if I pushed a little harder, I’d finally feel “enough”: proud, accomplished, accepted. But over time, I realized that growth doesn’t come from just relentless effort. It comes from recognizing your caliber, even while you’re still becoming who you want to be.

With time, however, I realized a crucial truth: growth doesn’t come from constant pressure, but from recognizing the humanity within ourselves, allowing us to stumble and fall without branding it as a failure or imperfection. When I look back, I realize how much I missed in life from chasing perfection instead of living and learning from my mistakes.

To my past self, I’d say: You don’t need to earn your right to be proud. You are already worthy. We always tell ourselves a lie, that we must be perfect, but that lie masks our fears with ambition. You can strive to improve and still love yourself. You can make mistakes and still be considered enough by others.

I would tell myself that the world will criticize you in its own way, but your inner voice? It should be a sanctuary for you, not another brewing storm. It should be the one thing that always has your back, even when no one else does. Because when the rest of the world disappears, your voice is the only one that echoes.

If I could speak to my younger self now, I would say: be kind, especially to yourself. You are trying your best, and that should be enough.