Learning to Listen Beyond Tone by Saryah

Learning to Listen Beyond Tone by Saryah - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

A time that I had to learn from feedback was actually earlier this week. Feedback can be very sour in the moment, especially when working for an organization, but it can be very important for personal growth. The feedback that I received was concerning how I should listen to what people are saying, not just the way they say it.

I was in a situation where someone in a group that I was leading made a rude comment, but in a kind and humble tone. Naturally, if someone is smiling and we are having a conversation, I am not thinking deeply about the words the person is saying until later on when I have time to process them. In this case, I never processed what that person said; I just brushed it off.

But then, in a passing conversation with a fellow leader, I repeated what the person said, and she was actually taken aback by both what that person had said and the timing in which they had said it. She told me that what this person said was completely inappropriate and that I should not have allowed the conversation on that topic to continue.

Later that night, I realized that many people can articulate their words well, but I cannot always assume that the tone in which something is said reflects the meaning behind it. I also need to look at the actions of the person to see if they align with the words they say. Discernment was my lesson, and it is a skill that I am developing as both a leader and a nurse.

A huge lesson that has shaped my approach to communication is to think about the purpose of why I am communicating and to ask myself, what is the person I am communicating with actually saying to me? I have learned that listening is more than hearing someone's words. It requires me to slow down, process what I am being told, and pay attention to what may be underneath the surface.

Now, I am choosing to be a more attentive and thoughtful listener and leader. This experience reminded me that feedback does not always feel good when I first receive it, but if I am willing to examine myself honestly, it can reveal something I need to grow in. That is the kind of growth I want to continue pursuing—not only as a leader, but as a nurse who will one day be responsible for listening carefully to patients, families, and those around me.