Life's Greatest Teachers by Maloune

Life's Greatest Teachers by Maloune - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

As a woman born in the 1900s, I've experienced a lot of living. Imagine my surprise when someone less than half my age wanted to give me feedback on how I showed up for my children. While raising four children, I’ve tried my best to lead with love, structure and honesty. In my opinion, being a good parent meant protecting them, correcting them when they were wrong, and preparing them for the real world. Very early in the parenting game I learned that this relationship was an exchange. Teaching my children what I thought they needed to know was just as important as getting feedback from them as well.
My oldest is one of the strongest advocates in our home. Whether she is asking for an extended curfew or an increase in her allowance, she is going to voice how she feels. The same goes for when I lay down the law and share the house rules. My daughter once shared that sometimes I am overprotective and my rules don’t make any sense. This was a harsh response to hear, because structure comes from a place of love. I would never tell them to do anything that would put them in harm’s way.
I took the criticism with a grain of salt. The same way I normally listen to her advocate for herself I listened to what she had to say about me. Soon enough there was a shift in my perspective. I realized her feedback was not an attack on my parenting, but an opportunity to get clarity on how my actions and communication were being experienced. This allowed me to create space for more communication and collaboration. I shared my rules and we agreed on the consequences. This allowed room for my children and I both to grow and it was easier for the children to take accountability for their behaviors.
In hindsight, my daughter’s feedback allowed me to become a better parent. I became an active listener and realized sometimes they just wanted to be heard. I did my best to acknowledge their feelings and not rush to fix their problems. They may be children, but they are human beings and go through changes like everyone else. This feedback has also allowed me to recognize that each of my children are different and require a different approach. What works for my outgoing and bubbly baby, doesn’t work for my shy, introverted pre-teen. Parenting requires me to be flexible, patient and willing to pivot as my velcro babies become more independent.
Receiving feedback from my daughter was one of the best pieces of criticism I could have received. I am now more reflective on my approach. Most times I let my children receive the natural consequences of their actions and we talk about what could have been done differently. This does not mean that my children agree with everything I say all the time. However, my children knowing they can come to me and have open and honest conversations has been very rewarding. They are the teachers that constantly remind me that parenting is a lifelong journey and I will continue to learn along the way.