Finding the Courage to Not Be a Mary by Kimberly
Kimberly's entry into Varsity Tutor's October 2025 scholarship contest
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Finding the Courage to Not Be a Mary by Kimberly - October 2025 Scholarship Essay
In Tiffany D. Jackson’s book Allegedly, Mary B. Addison’s story is one of resilience and courage in the face of a world that refuses to hear her voice. Mary was labeled a child murderer at nine years old where she had to navigate a society and justice system that only viewed her through the eyes of her past. In order to move forward, she must find the courage and strength to speak for herself and tell the truth, even if it means standing alone. Her journey in self-advocacy mirrors a universal challenge that is the need to step out of fear and claim your place where you doubt your worth.
As a sophomore in college, I often find myself reflecting on the courage Mary had whenever I feel small in an environment filled with achievement and ambition. In a campus where everyone seems to be doing something such as landing competitive internships and launching startups, it is so easy to feel like I am falling behind. Although this energy is motivating, it can also be intimidating. There are times when I question my being here, with asking myself if I am doing enough or if I even belong among such driven students. Like Mary, I sometimes feel unheard in the sense that I hesitate to speak up for myself and get me to a goal.
Through Mary’s narrative, I learned that courage is not always loud, it can be carried out through simple actions such as just showing up and trying, despite any fears. In the book, Mary learns to advocate for herself after years, basically her whole life, of going by what others define her as. By taking control of her life, she aims to disconnect her past from the future she is trying to create. Similarly, for me in college, I find courage to be as simple as stepping out of my comfort zone, something I find challenging at times, that can be accomplished by joining new organizations that intimidate me or raising my hand in a lecture hall of over 200 students. Each act of self-advocacy is a stepping stone towards feeling I belong here, no matter how small the act is.
What stood to me from Mary’s story is that her courage is still present when she feels isolated. She took on the notion that self-worth does not have to come from the validation of others, but from within. As I navigate a competitive academic environment, I am attempting to shift comparison towards confidence. I tell myself that everyone is taking on their own unique path towards success that is equally different for everyone, and that my own is still meaningful no matter the progress.
Ultimately, Mary and I are learning similar lessons, which is that courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision to move through it, just in different aspects. Her story highlights the fact that advocating for yourself is a continuous act of believing in yourself, regardless of others. During my time here in college, I am continuously learning to speak up and take space in spaces that lower my self-esteem, just like Mary did.