Choosing Myself First: A Lesson from The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey by Jelisa
Jelisa's entry into Varsity Tutor's October 2025 scholarship contest
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Choosing Myself First: A Lesson from The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey by Jelisa - October 2025 Scholarship Essay
In The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey, the characters are caught in a web of love, lies, and emotional confusion. What stood out to me most was how the women in the story lost themselves trying to hold on to a man who was emotionally unavailable. Each of them wanted to be loved so badly that they accepted less than they deserved. As I read, I realized how familiar that pattern felt, not because I’ve lived the same story, but because I’ve had moments where I forgot my own worth.
From this book, I learned one of the most important lessons of my life: loving someone else should never mean abandoning yourself. Dickey’s writing captured how easily people fall into relationships that drain their confidence and peace. The women’s choices reflected a kind of emotional hunger, a need for validation, that left them powerless. I saw pieces of my own past in that. I’ve stayed quiet when I should’ve spoken up, put others first when I was the one falling apart, and ignored my own needs just to keep the peace. But like the characters in the book, I learned that silence and self-sacrifice don’t bring love; they bring emptiness.
That realization has changed how I move through life. I’ve learned to set boundaries and trust the timing of my journey instead of chasing after people or things that aren’t meant for me. I’m learning to love myself in a way that doesn’t depend on anyone’s approval. Going back to school, raising my children, and building a better future for us is part of that love, it’s me choosing myself and my purpose.
The Other Woman also showed me that self-worth is a daily choice. It’s in the moments when I say “no” instead of overextending myself. It’s in the times I remind myself that peace is more valuable than attention. It’s in trusting that the right people and opportunities will come when I’m ready for them. The book may be filled with drama and temptation, but beneath it all, it’s a story about what happens when you stop valuing yourself and that’s a lesson I never want to forget.
Today, I’m proud of the woman I’m becoming. I speak up for myself. I protect my peace. And I remind myself that love should never cost me my confidence or my future. Reading The Other Woman helped me see that clearly. It reminded me that the most powerful kind of love starts with the one you give yourself, and that lesson continues to shape how I live, parent, and dream.