What I Gained by Letting Go by Isabella

What I Gained by Letting Go by Isabella - April 2026 Scholarship Essay

For the majority of my life, I assumed having friends was to constantly surround myself with multiple individuals, group chats, social media stories, and an overwhelming amount of notifications. Living for validation is everything I’ve craved. The more friends I had, the more followers I had, the more people who liked me controlled my worth. Eventually, when these exciting moments of attention die down, I feel alienated and lonely.

Losing status was not really an instant storm, but rather a slow eroding of the earth’s surface. I’ve begun to recognize how nobody really smiles at me the way they used to, I’m now on the other end of the secret, and I’m home more than I am out with my friends. This took a toll on me, fighting this grew challenging. I wore what was in, I made all of the jokes, I bought what everyone else owned, but the harder I tried, the more I found myself filling an empty void chasing after a version of myself who doesn’t even exist anymore.

My limits really got pushed during my junior year of high school. Throughout my time, I’ve found myself stuck in a suffocating friendship, like a wedge keeping a heavy door open. However, I failed to realize this early on, I was blind. I had no time to myself, following each other like lost puppies, we were just there dragging each other along anything we did. As we grew closer, becoming one person, It felt I’ve only existed in her world when she needed me. Answer keys, rides, making up lies to cover for her actions, but we were so close I couldn’t have walked away from the years of friendship we’ve built overtime. In my eyes the pros nearly outweigh the cons.

Then comes a day where a blessing in disguise occurs. I woke up confused, my texts aren’t sending, her social media won't load, phone calls go to voicemail. I’ve found myself in a situation of false accusation, false rumors about me, false claims of me being a betrayer. I am sent into a panic, what if people don’t believe me? What if I lose my friends? What if I’m not treated the same anymore? It hits me in plain sight. I quickly found myself happier, free, I am no longer suffocating, drowning in a friendship holding me back from accomplishing what I love. How could I have not seen the signs sooner? I’ve quickly realized that peace was not something I gain from close friendships, status, nor validation. It is something I must pursue within myself.

However, this is not about the value of peace. As much as it plays a part of my journey, it is rather about the difference between enjoying my solitude and convincing myself that the people around me are for me. Feeling solidity within yourself, should make you feel whole and mature, security with your own existence. As lonely as it may feel, it is much more preferred than constantly living in a mind battle with yourself debating whether you should make choices for yourself or others.

The renovation of yourself is the most beautiful part, you begin to recognize healthy relationships, meaningful connections, and you start to surround yourself with people who don’t have lack of depth or lack or loyalty. Valuing my own company is the most important lesson of this, I do not need other people to define my self respect and worth. Losing the people who I thought were my everything truly showed me clarity. Not every loss I face is a misfortune and that the greatest gift is to lose what does not serve you. Letting go of worldly people is meant to make room for self love and authenticity which brings a sense of peace which I would have never thought was achievable.

Make the choice to walk away from those empty connections, you don’t know how it will serve you in the future. Choose to walk into a more true version of yourself rather than a version you don’t even recognize. The wisdom and resilience is worth everything I’ve lost. I now understand how to have a deeper connection with others and more significantly, myself.