May I Learn to Love by Ava

May I Learn to Love by Ava - August 2025 Scholarship Essay

My aspiration for this school year is to grow more into myself. I want to find new people, form new connections, make new friends, create new memories, live new experiences, and just live my time as a teenager to its fullest. I want to feel heartbreak, complete and utter happiness, absolute terror, shakingly nervous, fearfully unsure, but most of all, I want to feel whatever emotions I may be having, and I want to feel them to their fullest. I want to love as much as I can, spread as much joy as possible, be as kind as my conscience will allow, and give as much positivity as I am able. I want to show others that they are worth love and happiness, but more than that, I want to show myself that I, too, am worth the same love and happiness. I want to learn to love myself, and I hope to do this by loving others. I do not want to do anything in moderation. I want to be as outgoing, loud, extra, and big as I can. I want to be all that I can be. This year, my junior year in high school, the year that is supposed to be the hardest out of all of my years in high school, I want to make the most memorable, not only for myself but for others. I want to love myself by understanding that not everything is in my control. I want to be proud of myself for achieving what I have never achieved before. I want to be easier on myself by accepting that disappointing things will happen, and that it is okay. I want to be my true self, as fully and unapologetically as I can. I want to be a hardworking student, a listening friend, an understanding classmate, a kind stranger, but most of all, a weird girl. I want to be my weird, loving, carefree, unjudging, open-minded, Devil's advocate, determined, stubborn self. This year, I want to be regretlessly and openly myself, while also forming a life for myself. A life that I can live with unbound happiness and joy. I plan to work for my future, as I have been, and this coming year, though I'm sure not everything will fall perfectly into place at once, I want to be at least one step closer. What keeps me going forward is my big sister, Abby, who is my main motivator. I have looked up to her for years, and she is undoubtedly my main role model. We have been very close my entire life, and I have always worshiped her. We come from a low-income family with parents who did not have the means to help pay for college. Therefore, we have to afford our schooling ourselves. My sister graduated from high school in 2023 with high honors. She was in the top 8% of her class, which included over 500 students. She got a full ride to college and more. My sister, who, like me, was never handed anything, worked so hard for everything she has achieved in her life. She maintained over a 4.0-grade point average her entire time in high school and never missed a day of her high school career either. Due to this, I look up to Abby. It has been my goal for years to not only accomplish everything she has but more. So far, I have been accepted into the same leadership groups, received the same high grades, and even surpassed her in both of those fields. My sister is truly an inspiration, and every day that I work for my future and my goals, I remember that I am working for something possible. My sister reminds me that everything I go through will be worth it in the end. I hold her on such a high pedestal not only due to her academic achievements but also due to her loving nature. Though my sister was not always the most self-confident person, she was undoubtedly a kind person. She always looked out for others and put those she loved before herself. My sister is truly a kind heart, and I hope that one day, if I am very, very lucky, I might live up to a fraction of her name and person.