Perfectionism And Persistent Feedback by Aisiah

Perfectionism And Persistent Feedback by Aisiah - August 2026 Scholarship Essay

My name is Aisiah Haynes and I am a current Black student and Japanese major at California State University Monterey Bay. I transferred from Las Positas College in Fall of 2025, and ever since I was young, I have had an interest in Japanese culture in one form or another. I have very fond memories of watching Japanese cartoons, or anime, with my siblings every week. As a result, Japanese culture, and especially anime have inspired my art in incredible ways. Throughout my journey studying Japanese, I tend to lean on my creative method of learning. I often use mnemonic devices involving rhymes and rhythms to approach memorization creatively. This helps me find a pattern to make connections and solidify my memory and I believe that this is connected to my heart for creativity.
One of my long term goals is to take the Japanese Language Placement Test, and by studying abroad in Japan, I am confident that I will be equipped with the necessary skills to accomplish this. It is important to me that I speak Japanese in my daily life instinctively, apart from a structured classroom environment. In order to achieve Japanese fluency, it is valuable to immerse myself by studying in Japan. With my experience studying abroad, I plan on moving forward with exploring a career in Japan as a manga translator or entertainment interpreter. I could not have approached these goals without the support of my family, and professors at CSU Monterey Bay.
With that being said, the path to any goal is not always a straight line. There were several moments where I felt as if I had approached a plateau, discouraged or inadequate in my skills as a college student. One senior Japanese professor at my home university was particularly strict in her assignment criteria and feedback. It was during midterms in the Fall of 2025 when I realized this. Each student in the course was tasked with creating and delivering a presentation in formal Japanese, and this professor had certain expectations of how it should be executed. Prior to my timeslot to present, I met with her during office hours that month to receive feedback. In my eyes, the presentation was only mere adjustments from completion, but she verbalized otherwise. “This is a good start”, she remarked, and my stomach dropped lower than low. I entered her office with the mind that I was almost ready to present. However, I sat in that moment with a certain weight of disparity. I felt as though my best work had been crushed. As painful as it was, my professor’s persistent feedback forced me to confront my perfectionism, because I saw my work as an extension of myself. My work had to be perfect because I had to be. I held myself to such an unrealistic standard that any criticism was agonizing. Removing my worth from my work is an intentional effort and journey of itself, but it is a change for the better. Life is full of criticism from people that may or may not care deeply about you, and so the only way to overcome this is to understand your worth as an individual and connect with people that uplift you.