English Language Arts: Business/Friendly Letters (TEKS.ELA.9-12.11.D)
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Texas High School ELA › English Language Arts: Business/Friendly Letters (TEKS.ELA.9-12.11.D)
Dear Commissioners,
I am writing about recent communications regarding winterization measures for distributed energy resources and the timelines our district was informally given last month. Several principals asked me for dates, and I could only relay what I think I heard in a webinar. It would be good to know if schools installing battery-backed solar must file an interconnection study before December or if a notice of intent suffices, because vendors are waiting on us. I'm also not sure who on your staff handles education entities when the electric cooperative is the utility. We want to comply, but I am juggling multiple projects and cannot keep searching multiple webpages. Please let me know what the requirements are, and whether there is flexibility.
Sincerely,
Jordan Reyes
Which revision best improves this professional inquiry to a Texas regulatory commission by clarifying the request and strengthening persuasive effectiveness while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Open with Hi yall and add I am swamped so I need answers ASAP, then repeat the questions in all caps for emphasis.
Replace the body with Pursuant to applicable statutes, I hereby demand immediate promulgation of guidance forthwith, under penalty of adverse outcomes, and close with Very respectfully yours, Jordan A. Reyes, B.S., M.Ed.
Add a specific subject line and restructure the message: Subject: Clarification on DER winterization and school solar interconnections. Dear Commissioners, As Sustainability Director for Red Oak ISD, I request clarification on two items: 1 whether campuses installing battery-backed solar must complete an interconnection study before December or may submit a notice of intent, and 2 the appropriate PUC contact for education entities served by electric cooperatives. Our vendors await district direction. Please confirm the required filing and a point of contact by Oct. 15, or advise an alternative timeline. I would welcome a brief call to ensure compliance at 555-010-2000. Sincerely, Jordan Reyes.
Keep the format but add a paragraph stating that the website is confusing and that the district cannot continue planning until the Commission fixes navigation, removing the closing and sign-off to keep it brief.
Explanation
Option C adds a clear subject, identifies the sender's role, states two precise questions, proposes a reasonable timeline, and offers a contact for follow-up while maintaining a respectful, professional tone and standard email format.
Hello Fellowship Committee,
I heard about your Emerging Leaders Residency from a colleague and am very interested. My background includes five years coordinating interagency design charrettes and presenting at conferences, and I feel like this program could really help me level up. I clicked around the website but could not find clear info about whether nonmembers may apply and how host sites are matched. I'm also curious if travel stipends are typical or if fellows fund their stays. I would appreciate whatever you can share, since I am trying to plan my spring workload, but I know you're busy. If there is a more appropriate contact, please forward along. Thanks in advance for any guidance you can provide.
Portfolio available upon request online.
Best,
Kai
Which revision best improves this inquiry to a professional organization by aligning tone and format with advanced professional expectations and clarifying the purpose?
Revise with a precise subject and streamlined, professional questions: Subject: Eligibility and matching questions – Emerging Leaders Residency. Dear Fellowship Committee, As a project manager who has led interagency design charrettes and conference presentations, I am evaluating whether to apply. Could you confirm 1 whether nonmembers are eligible and 2 how host sites are matched? Additionally, are travel stipends typically available, or should applicants plan to self-fund? If possible, a reply by Nov. 3 would help me plan spring commitments. I am happy to provide a CV or portfolio link. Thank you for your time. Best regards, Kai.
Open with Hi folks, I am super pumped about this program, and I would love any deets you can share. Can you DM me the info. Thanks!!!
Replace the current greeting with Esteemed Sirs and Mesdames and add I humbly beseech enlightenment on your venerable process, then conclude with Your most obedient servant.
Attach a full resume and two unsolicited recommendation letters, ask the committee to pre-assess your candidacy before you apply, and request a Zoom meeting this week to discuss placement guarantees.
Explanation
Option A adopts a professional subject line, foregrounds relevant credentials, asks concise, answerable questions, and proposes a reasonable response timeline, improving clarity and persuasiveness without inappropriate informality or excessive formality.
Dear Office of the Registrar,
I am admitted for fall and trying to ensure my dual-credit courses from Lone Star College apply properly. My transcript has been sent, but Degree Audit still shows core communication and mathematics unmet. I do not know whether I should keep holding my orientation spot in a different math section or whether someone will update the system on your end. I also noticed the course numbers on my high school transcript differ slightly from the community college catalog, which is confusing. I would appreciate clearer direction or at least a timeline, because housing selection depends on my schedule. I am sorry to bother you, but my family needs to plan travel soon. My student ID is 0045213.
Sincerely,
Amara Patel
Which revision best improves this message to an academic office by clarifying the request and maintaining an appropriately professional tone and format?
Begin with Hey, I need you to fix the system today because it is messed up and my mom needs to book flights, then add Thanks in advance.
Replace the body with Herewith I tender an inquiry as to the status of my scholastic records and beg a swift reply, and sign off with Most humbly.
Add a detailed list of every course number and insist that the evaluation be completed by end of day, while CCing multiple unrelated offices to create urgency.
Add a subject and focused request with timeline and routing: Subject: Dual-credit posting and core equivalency – Student ID 0045213. Dear Registrar's Office, I write to confirm the status of my Lone Star College dual-credit transcript and its core communication and mathematics equivalencies. Degree Audit currently shows these areas unmet. Could you advise whether additional documentation is required and when audits typically update after transcripts are received. This will determine my orientation math section. If another office handles transfer evaluations, please share that contact. Thank you for your assistance. Sincerely, Amara Patel.
Explanation
Option D adds a clear subject line, includes the student ID, frames specific questions, and requests routing or timeline information without sounding demanding or informal, which strengthens clarity and effectiveness.
Council Member Delgado,
I serve on our neighborhood association's cultural committee and am writing about the restoration of the 1978 river underpass mural near Guadalupe Street. A contractor hired by Public Works recently pressure-washed a section, and pigmented lime is now flaking. There is some confusion among residents about whether the city has a conservation plan or if permits are needed before any further cleaning. We do not wish to slow corridor improvements, but the mural carries Tejano and Chicano significance, and artists' families have asked us to intervene. Could your office advise which department is the owner of record and whether temporary stabilization funds exist? A short meeting with the conservator we consulted could help align next steps. We can host.
Respectfully,
Elena Marín
Which revision best improves this correspondence to a community leader about cultural preservation in Texas by sharpening the request and aligning tone and format with professional civic communication?
Open with Hey Councilman, that wash job trashed our mural, please stop them now, and add We can talk whenever you have a sec, thanks.
Add a subject line and specific ask with logistics: Subject: Guidance on conservation authority for Guadalupe underpass mural. Council Member Delgado, On behalf of the neighborhood association's cultural committee, I request identification of 1 the city department that holds ownership of the 1978 underpass mural and 2 an appropriate contact regarding emergency stabilization funding. Given recent pressure-washing damage, could we schedule a 20-minute briefing with our conservator during the week of Oct. 23. We can host at the community center or meet virtually. I will share a one-page condition summary in advance. Respectfully, Elena Marín.
Replace the message with formal legal wording demanding an immediate cease and desist and warning of potential publicized noncompliance, ending with Without prejudice.
Move the request to social media by posting the concerns on a public page and tagging the council member, instead of sending formal correspondence, to get faster attention.
Explanation
Option B adds a clear subject, defines two precise requests, proposes concrete scheduling options, and signals supporting documentation, all while maintaining respectful civic tone and standard format.
Subject: Aquifer Plan Needs Fixing
Representative Delgado,
I'm writing because the new groundwater allocation framework seems off, and frankly it feels like urban users are getting all the good stuff while our Hill Country wells sputter. I've spent weekends reading reports, but the whole thing is buried in acronyms. Can you please do something ASAP? The task force sounded great on TV, yet no one from Blanco County was invited, which is disappointing. We're voters too. Anyway, if the cap remains, our vineyard might shut down and I'll have to lay off neighbors. I attached a spreadsheet that is pretty convincing. Let me know what you decide.
Thanks,
R. Hayes Owner, Pedernales Ridge
Phone: 512-555-0490 If needed, I can drive to Austin next week personally.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and professional audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Replace the sentence 'Can you please do something ASAP?' and the subsequent paragraph with: 'I respectfully request that your office schedule a 20-minute call next week to discuss adding Blanco County stakeholder representation to the task force and commissioning a review of the proposed cap using the attached USGS well-level data; I am available Tue–Thu, 9–11 a.m.'
Open with 'Hey Representative!' and add a bolded all-caps subject line demanding immediate action.
Replace the body with a dense summary of aquifer science, removing the personal impact and specific request to avoid sounding biased.
Add a multi-page appendix of vineyard photos and a heartfelt anecdote to make the email more emotional.
Explanation
Option A clarifies the purpose, makes a specific, actionable request, references relevant evidence, and maintains a professional tone and format appropriate for a government office.
Subject: Questions about my stuff
Dear Registrar Team,
I hope this finds you well. I'm trying to figure out how my Research Methods class from Coastal Plains University might count here, and I've asked a few people but keep getting linked to different PDFs. I don't want to be a bother, and obviously I'll do whatever the department wants. I'm attaching syllabi and a letter. Maybe the credits could go toward the stats requirement, or possibly the practicum? If not, that's fine. I'm cc'ing three advisors because I'm not sure who handles this. Could someone please point me in the right direction sometime soon? My stipend renewal is coming up and I'm kind of stressed about timing.
Best,
Anita Lopez Biology PhD Year two cohort.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and professional audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Add a friendly GIF to express gratitude and make the message feel more approachable.
Replace the greeting with 'To Whom It May Concern' and remove timing details to avoid sounding demanding.
Revise the subject to 'Credit evaluation request: Coastal Plains Univ Research Methods (BIOL 5321) toward STAT requirement, Fall entry' and open with: 'I request a determination under Graduate Catalog 2024 Section 4.2.3 on whether BIOL 5321 (syllabus attached) satisfies the statistics requirement; please advise by October 3 so I can finalize registration.'
Apologize extensively for confusion and state you are willing to wait until the committee meets next spring.
Explanation
Option C establishes a precise subject, cites policy, states a clear request with a reasonable timeline, and uses an appropriate professional tone and format for an academic office.
Subject: Speaking slot?
Hello Conference People,
Long story short, I've done a ton of work on grid modernization and could totally give a talk if you have space. My startup is crushing it with AI-driven dashboards, and attendees would love to hear our journey. I didn't see clear rules on your website about late proposals, so I figured I'd just email. If necessary, I can wing it without slides. We're thought leaders and have crazy engagement numbers, so it would be a win-win. I can cover travel if you comp the badge. What's the easiest way to make this happen? I can send links, but there are too many to paste here.
Cheers, Max Cell 214-555-8803; Austin-based; flexible dates in November and December. Thank you.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and professional audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Replace the greeting with 'Yo Committee!' and add emojis to convey enthusiasm.
Replace the message with: 'Subject: Late consideration request—Workshop on grid reliability analytics. Dear Program Chair, I request late consideration under your cancellation policy. Proposed 60-minute workshop: "From telemetry to decisions: practitioner lessons in grid reliability analytics." Outcomes: participants will apply three techniques to real-world data. Evidence of relevance: three utility case studies (attendance avg. 140). I can submit the full proposal within 48 hours and am available Nov 14–16. Thank you for your consideration.'
Add a 2-page company brochure attachment and bold the phrase 'thought leaders' for emphasis.
Replace slang but keep the same vague request: 'I would be honored to speak; please advise.'
Explanation
Option B aligns with professional conference norms by specifying the request, proposed session, outcomes, evidence, and availability in a respectful, concise format that supports persuasive effectiveness.
Subject: URGENT: Don't erase our mural!!!
To the San Antonio Arts Commission,
This is a line in the sand. The Tejano Heritage mural on Zarzamora is not "blight," and the developer's plan to "refresh" it is a euphemism for whitewashing. I've been in this neighborhood for decades, and I know what's right. If you approve this permit, people will protest, and I will personally call the news. I don't have time to assemble footnotes, but history is on our side. Stop this now. At minimum, delay the vote until folks can speak. I can show up whenever-you tell me. I'm free most nights.
Sincerely, Carmen R. Westside Association Please fix the city website calendar; meeting times are inconsistent and confusing residents. We deserve transparent process.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and professional audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Keep the urgency by adding more exclamation points and capitalizing 'STOP THIS NOW' for visibility.
Replace the salutation with 'To Whom It May Concern' and remove all mention of the mural to remain impartial.
Shorten the message to one sentence: 'Please postpone the vote.'
Revise to: 'Subject: Request to postpone permit vote—Tejano Heritage mural, Zarzamora. Dear Commissioners, I respectfully request a two-week postponement under City Code Section 35-430 to allow submission of community input and a conservation alternative from a certified conservator (proposal attached). I can attend the Oct 12 meeting and coordinate speakers from District 5. Please confirm whether the item can be moved to the following agenda.'
Explanation
Option D reframes the message with a respectful tone, cites relevant procedure, provides a specific, actionable request, and offers logistical details that support a professional, persuasive appeal to civic leaders.