Composition: Composing Correspondence (TEKS.ELA.8.11.D)
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Texas 8th Grade ELA › Composition: Composing Correspondence (TEKS.ELA.8.11.D)
Hey Principal Cortez, I'm writing because the hallway AC is busted again and it's making everybody sweat like crazy. We shouldn't have to learn in a sauna, you know? I already told the office twice, but nothing happened. If this keeps up, people will just bail on class or bring fans and extensions, which is risky. Please fix it ASAP or at least tell us what the plan is. Maybe I can help decide? I could swing by during lunch to talk. My friends agree this is unacceptable. Waiting to hear back fast. Thanks, Jordan, 8th grade, Lone Star Middle.
Which revision best improves this message to a school principal for the purpose of requesting action while keeping an appropriate tone and format?
To whom it may concern, It has come to my attention that the HVAC is inoperative. I hereby request immediate remediation and a formal written statement regarding compliance with building codes. Respectfully submitted, J. R.
Hey! It is like an oven out there. Please fix today or we will just bring a bunch of box fans and extension cords. Hit me back ASAP. - Jordan
Dear Principal Cortez, I am writing to report that the hallway air-conditioning near the 8th-grade wing has been unreliable this week and is affecting learning. Could you share the repair timeline and any temporary steps, such as supervised fans or relocating classes, to keep rooms safe? I am available to meet briefly during lunch on Tuesday to provide details. Thank you for your attention to this concern. Sincerely, Jordan, 8th grade.
Hallway AC broken; classes hot. Plan? When fixed? Move us? Lunch Tuesday. Jordan.
Explanation
Option C is clear, respectful, and specific to the principal, states impact on learning, requests a timeline and options, and follows email conventions. A is impersonal and overly formal, B is too casual and threatening, and D is terse and lacks professional tone and format.
To whom it may concern, I, the undersigned student, hereby inquire about your summer robotics camp because my parent requests information. I was perusing your site but could not determine times, costs, or whether scholarships apply. Kindly transmit all details at your earliest convenience. Also, do you accept community service hours? Please respond posthaste to my email. If the camp is full, I shall be most disheartened. I await your favorable reply. Respectfully submitted, Taylor Nguyen, Student, Eighth Grade, Pine View School. Sent from my phone. Also, is there a beginner track? I need details to plan transportation. Thank you.
Which revision best improves this inquiry to a youth program by matching tone and format while clearly requesting needed information?
Hello Robotics Camp Team, My name is Taylor Nguyen (8th grade, Pine View). I am interested in your summer robotics camp and have a few questions: What are the session dates and fees? Are scholarships available, and how do I apply? Do service hours count for volunteering? Is there a beginner track? I would appreciate details so I can plan transportation. Thank you for your time. Best regards, Taylor.
Heyyyy robotics folks, I wanna join the camp this summer. Can you just send me all the deets and maybe hook me up with a scholarship? If it is full, can you squeeze me in anyway lol. Thanks!!! :)
Dear Sir or Madam, Kindly transmit particulars at your earliest convenience regarding your venerable program. I await your favorable reply. Respectfully, T. Nguyen.
Info request: Dates, costs, scholarships, service hours, beginner track, transportation planning. Reply to this email. Taylor.
Explanation
Option A uses a friendly-professional tone suited to a youth program, asks specific questions, and follows email conventions. B is too casual and presumptive, C is stiff and vague, and D improves clarity but lacks proper greeting, tone, and closing.
City Council, listen up: the old Tejano mural on Alamo Street is about to get blasted by a developer's boring beige paint. That's not cool for our community or for students who learn Texas history. I'm in eighth grade and I walk by it daily. Y'all need to stop this immediately and tell them no permit. If you don't, people will protest and it'll be on the news. Instead, let us host a student clean-up and a plaque. Message me back by tomorrow with your decision. I can't believe this is even a question. - Maya, Jefferson Middle. Thank you.
Which revision best improves this message to city council by advocating effectively while keeping a respectful, formal tone?
City Council, deny the permit now or the community will protest and call reporters. We are not asking; we are demanding action by tomorrow. Maya.
Hey Council, this is messed up. Do better and leave the mural alone. Hit me up when you fix it. - M.
Dear City Council, Could you tell me when the repainting is scheduled and who approved it? I just want the timeline, thanks. Sincerely, Maya.
Dear City Council Members, I am a Jefferson Middle 8th grader writing to request a pause on the permit to paint over the Alamo Street Tejano mural. The mural represents our neighborhood's Texas heritage. Please consider meeting with students and the developer to explore alternatives, such as restoration and adding a historical plaque. I can help organize a student clean-up day. Thank you for your time and service. Sincerely, Maya.
Explanation
Option D clearly states the purpose, explains significance, proposes constructive solutions, and uses an appropriate formal tone and format. A is threatening, B is too casual, and C is polite but only requests information, weakening the advocacy.
hi, Library People - what's the deal with the teen makerspace being 'temporarily closed'? It's been like that forever and our science club needs to 3D print stuff this month. Your website is confusing and the calendar link is broken. Can you just tell me when it's open and who can reserve it? If it's some policy thing, please explain it in normal words. I can swing by after school most days. Please respond quick because our showcase is soon. thx, Dev Patel, 8th grade, Maple Ridge. Is there a waitlist or alternative equipment students can use? Please advise. Thanks.
Which revision best improves this request for information to library staff while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Esteemed Library Personnel, Kindly elucidate the policy parameters governing adolescent fabrication facilities at your earliest convenience. A prompt and favorable reply is anticipated. Respectfully, D. Patel.
Dear Library Staff, I am writing on behalf of our 8th-grade science club to ask about the teen makerspace. Could you please share current hours, reservation procedures, and any waitlist options? If the space is closed, is there alternative equipment students may use this month? Our showcase is in two weeks, so guidance on next steps would be very helpful. Thank you for your support. Sincerely, Dev Patel.
hi library, what's up with the makerspace, it has been closed forever. just open it please and tell me when I can show up. thx dev
Need hours, who reserves, and reopening date. Reply ASAP with details. Dev Patel.
Explanation
Option B is courteous, organized, and specific about needed information and timeline, matching a professional email to staff. A is overly formal and vague, C is too casual and demanding, and D is terse and lacks standard email conventions.
hi Principal Lopez, my friends and I think the lunch schedule is kinda messed up because we're starving by the time we eat. It's not fair some grades get earlier slots and we get stuck. Can we fix this ASAP? Maybe make lunch earlier or let us snack in class? I already talked to like everyone and they agree with me a lot. If this doesn't change soon, people are going to keep being late to 5th period. Please respond quickly. Thanks, Jordan (8th grade). Sent from my phone. Also the lines are super long and waste instructional time daily.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Hey Principal Lopez! We need earlier lunch, for real. Could you just move it up? Everyone hates the current time lol. Let us snack in class if not. Thx! —Jordan
To Whom It May Concern: I hereby petition the administration for an alteration of the midday nutritional period. The undersigned pupil seeks equitable dispensation. Respectfully submitted, Jordan, Student.
Subject: Request to Review 8th-Grade Lunch Schedule Dear Principal Lopez, I'm an 8th-grade student writing to request a review of our lunch time. Many students struggle with long lines and arrive late to 5th period. Would you consider adjusting the schedule or allowing a brief snack break in designated classes? I'm happy to help gather student feedback or meet to discuss options. Thank you for your time and for supporting our learning. Sincerely, Jordan M., Grade 8, Homeroom 208
Principal Lopez, the current lunch plan is unfair and causing failure in 5th period. If it doesn't change this week, we will start a petition and contact the district. Change it to 12:00 or allow snacks.
Explanation
Choice C uses a professional email format, a respectful tone, a clear purpose, and a specific, workable request. The other options are either too casual (A), inappropriately formal/misaddressed (B), or confrontational and less persuasive (D).
Hello, I'm upset about the trash all over the creek by our neighborhood trail. It looks bad and probably hurts wildlife. I don't know who to email, so I'm sending this to multiple city addresses. We should definitely do a cleanup this Saturday morning because my friends and I are free then. I expect the city to bring gloves, bags, and a dumpster. Please fix the algae too. If this doesn't get handled, I'll post photos to show how the city ignores students. Reply fast because we need to plan. Thanks, Maya, 8th grade, Cedar Grove, near Round Rock, Texas.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Subject: Request to Coordinate Creek Cleanup Support Dear Parks and Recreation Director, I'm an 8th-grade student in Cedar Grove near Round Rock. Our neighborhood creek has visible litter. My classmates and I can host a volunteer cleanup on Saturday, April 20, 9–11 a.m. Would the department provide trash bags, gloves, and post-event pickup? If another date works better, please advise. I can share location details and volunteer count. Thank you for helping keep our creek healthy. Sincerely, Maya R.
Hey! We're doing a cleanup Sat morning. Can you guys drop off stuff? Hit me back asap :)
To Whom It May Concern: Pursuant to the public health code, be advised that detritus accumulation has reached untenable thresholds. Immediate abatement is demanded. Kindly remit a detailed remediation plan forthwith.
The city has failed to maintain the creek. We demand algae removal and equipment delivery by Saturday or we will escalate online.
Explanation
Choice A is polite, specific, and proposes a realistic plan while following email conventions. B is too casual, C is overly formal and vague, and D is confrontational, reducing persuasiveness.
Hi Museum Person, I want to volunteer because I need hours for school and also it looks okay. What are the jobs? I can do weekends but not mornings, and I don't like phone calls. Also, do you sign forms the same day? My resume is somewhere, I'll send it later if I find it. If there's training or whatever, I can maybe attend. Please tell me all the rules and if there's a free T-shirt. Reply soon because I'm trying to finish hours quickly. From, Sam, student at Northside Middle. I heard about the program from my science teacher.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Esteemed Sir or Madam: I solicit the privilege of rendering gratuitous services within your esteemed institution. Kindly apprise me of all extant ordinances. Yours in service, S. Learner.
yo can i volunteer? need hours ASAP, lmk. —sam
Dear Museum, I want hours. Please sign my forms and tell me the fastest job. I can't do mornings and don't want calls, so email me only.
Subject: Student Inquiry About Volunteer Opportunities Dear Volunteer Coordinator, My name is Sam L., an 8th-grade student at Northside Middle. I'm interested in weekend volunteer roles and would like to learn about current opportunities, training dates, and the application process. I can provide a resume and any school forms upon request. I'm available most Saturday afternoons and some Sundays. Please let me know the next steps, and whether a brief phone call or email is preferred. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Sam L.
Explanation
Choice D is courteous, clear about purpose and availability, and follows email conventions. A is overly formal and vague, B is too casual, and C is clearer but pushy and inconsiderate of the recipient's process.
Representative Garcia, our school library keeps cutting hours and it's ridiculous. Kids can't check out books, and it's because of budget choices. I don't know what bill this is, but you should fix it because reading is important. If you don't do something soon, lots of us will be really disappointed and maybe protest. I'm not sure how the state works, but please send money to schools so we can get more librarians. This is common sense. Write back quickly. From, Alex, 8th grade, Rio Vista Middle, Texas. Our district is in South Texas where libraries are community hubs daily.
Which revision best improves the correspondence's effectiveness for its purpose and audience while maintaining appropriate tone and format?
Hey, please send money to our library. It's dying. Thx! —Alex
Subject: Support for School Library Funding in Our District Dear Representative Garcia, I am an 8th-grade student at Rio Vista Middle in South Texas. Reduced library hours limit our access to research help and books. I respectfully ask you to support increased funding for school libraries in the upcoming budget and any related legislation. Even modest funding would extend hours and maintain a certified librarian. I would appreciate a brief update on your position or any ways students can help. Thank you for your service, Alex R., constituent, ZIP 78XXX
Whereas the undersigned prays your Honorable Body allocate sufficient pecuniary resources to scholastic repositories, I submit this petition for immediate redress.
Fund our library now or we will protest at your office every week until you do.
Explanation
Choice B is respectful, specific, and aligns with a representative's expectations for formal correspondence. A is too casual, C is overly formal and unclear, and D is threatening, which undermines persuasion.