Composition: Organizing Drafts with Structure and Coherence (TEKS.ELA.8.10.B.i)
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Texas 8th Grade ELA › Composition: Organizing Drafts with Structure and Coherence (TEKS.ELA.8.10.B.i)
In this analysis, I discuss how the setting shapes the mood, but the examples arrive before a clear claim appears. The story opens with rain, and later the hallway is silent, which matters. Readers feel uneasy because of sound and light, the cafeteria buzzing earlier is mentioned after the conclusion is almost guessed, and then I describe the storm again. I think the author wants us to notice small details like flickering bulbs, although I compare it to sunshine in another chapter without explaining why that part is included. The essay also says the narrator's footsteps echo. Mood shifts from crowded to isolated, and somewhere I should say that setting drives that change, though I say it in different places. Transitions are missing between examples.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organizational structure and transitional flow?
Insert a thesis at the end of the first paragraph stating that the setting's sounds and lighting drive the story's uneasy mood; reorder body paragraphs to move from crowded cafeteria to silent hallway to storm, adding transitions such as 'First,' 'Next,' and 'Finally' to show the mood's progression.
Add a new paragraph about the author's biography and neighborhood to explain why storms are common, and place it before the examples to provide background.
Group all sentences about light together and all sentences about sound together, but remove the statement that setting drives the change in mood because it repeats the claim.
Turn the essay into a compare-contrast between chapters by alternating sunshine and storm details every other paragraph, even if the draft focuses on one chapter.
Explanation
Choice A clarifies the claim, sequences examples in a purposeful pattern, and adds transitions that guide readers through the mood shift without introducing off-topic material.
Our middle school playground matters to students, and last May the temperature in Austin reached triple digits before lunch. I describe a petition, and somewhere I mention cost, but the reasons appear out of order. The argument for shade structures includes health, participation, and durability. I end with a quote from a coach near the beginning, and the introduction brings up a vendor after that. Parents signed forms, hydration stations help, still, the sun makes equipment too hot. Later I say grants exist, and earlier I claim maintenance is simple without support. The conclusion should call the board to vote, yet a statistic about UV exposure arrives without context there. The pieces are strong; they need sequence and transitions. Place costs after benefits before solutions.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organizational structure and transitional coherence?
Add more anecdotes from different Texas cities to show statewide concern, placing them between every paragraph to keep readers interested.
State the claim in the introduction and organize body paragraphs as benefits (health, participation, durability), then costs and grants, followed by a clear call to vote; add transitions like 'Because,' 'Therefore,' and 'In addition' to connect reasons and outcomes.
Combine the petition and vendor details into the conclusion to save space, and remove the statistic about UV exposure to avoid repeating the idea of heat.
Open with cost analysis and end with benefits so the essay surprises readers, and scatter short one-sentence paragraphs to create urgency.
Explanation
Choice B establishes a clear claim and arranges reasons, costs, and solutions in a logical order with purposeful transitions, improving flow without adding irrelevant content.
Plastic waste statistics appear, but the report does not clearly say its focus until later when I mention household recycling. I include ocean facts next to curbside bin instructions, and then a definition of polymer shows up. The sequence wanders from local to global and to chemistry. A source about bottle caps is credible, and I cite it before I explain the categories of plastic, which I list and then forget to group. The point is to explain how communities can improve recycling, yet the introduction highlights lab methods. After that, I return to pickup schedules. The content is strong. I need sections that guide readers through definition, types, local practices, and outcomes, with transitions that show why order matters. Headings would help readers navigate.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organization and logical sequence?
Add a narrative hook describing a beach cleanup and keep the current order to maintain variety, inserting rhetorical questions between sections.
Move the global ocean facts to the conclusion and begin with chemistry definitions so readers learn science first, leaving local practices as brief bullets.
Combine all statistics into a single paragraph at the start and remove the categories of plastic to avoid overwhelming readers.
Create clear sections in this order: definition of polymer and purpose, types of plastic grouped logically, local curbside practices with the bottle-cap source, and outcomes; add transitions that explain cause and effect between practices and results.
Explanation
Choice D provides purposeful sections and a logical progression from concepts to applications to results, using transitions that clarify relationships and improve coherence.
I want to tell the story of learning to make breakfast tacos with my grandmother at the Market Square in San Antonio, but I start with the taste before I say how I felt at the end. We bought tortillas after I already describe flipping eggs, and somewhere I jump to a memory of school lunch. The important part is how she let me try, my hands shaky, and later I explain the sizzling pan at the beginning again. I mention colors, music, and the smell of cilantro, and the lesson about patience hides in the middle. The order should move from arrival to cooking to sharing to what I learned, yet I circle back and lose the path. Transitions should mark each new step.
Which revision would most effectively improve the narrative's structure and transitions?
Begin with a detailed description of cilantro and list all ingredients alphabetically, then mention feelings briefly to keep the focus on food.
Keep the current order, but add a flashback to school lunch right after the first sentence to create contrast, and end with the Market Square sounds.
Restructure the narrative to follow time order: arrival at Market Square, cooking steps, sharing the tacos, then the lesson about patience; add transitions like 'When we arrived,' 'While cooking,' and 'After we ate' to guide readers.
Split the story into two alternating threads—shopping and emotions—in separate paragraphs that switch every other sentence to show complexity.
Explanation
Choice C organizes events chronologically and adds guiding transitions, clarifying the arc from experience to reflection without adding irrelevant material.
Imagery can shape mood by appealing to senses, and the poem I read mentions cold wind, dim streetlights, and crunchy leaves. The speaker feels alone. The images are specific, like a coat that never warms. There is also a stray dog shivering by a bench. Later a candle flickers in a window and the mood softens. Word choice matters, because flickers and glows sound gentle, unlike rattles and drips. The ending returns to footsteps fading. The structure of the poem changes, short lines, longer lines, pauses. Sound devices appear, alliteration in whispering willows. The setting is late autumn. The colors are gray and silver. The tone moves from bleak to cautious hope. These details affect readers by building atmosphere. However, some transitions feel abruptly placed.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organizational structure and transitional connections?
Add a new introduction explaining different types of poems and a brief history of poetry to frame the discussion.
Move the final statement on atmosphere to the beginning and intermix the examples so the reader discovers them out of order.
Group early bleak images together, then present the later hopeful images, using transitions like "At first" and "Later" to show the shift, followed by a focused sentence tying imagery to tone.
Insert subheadings "Sound," "Setting," and "Color" and organize details alphabetically under each, even when the poem's mood shifts over time.
Explanation
Option C strengthens organization by sequencing related imagery and adding time-shift transitions, guiding readers from bleak to hopeful details and tying them to tone. The other choices add irrelevant information, disrupt logical order, or impose an arbitrary structure that weakens clarity.
School should start later because sleep affects learning. I talk to friends who snooze on the bus, and science mentions circadian rhythms. Homework ends late after games, then alarms ring early. Some students eat breakfast in first period. Evidence from districts that changed schedules shows better attendance. Teachers notice fewer yawns, too many students still feel rushed. Families worry about after school jobs and activities, but those can adjust. The brain needs rest. I remember missing a quiz question because my eyes burned. The nurse said hydration and rest help. Sports can practice in daylight. Transportation routes might change. Starting later could reduce tardies. The point is obvious. Start time matters for safety, grades, and health, scattered examples show why. Transitions would make reasons clearer.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organizational structure and logical flow?
Begin with a clear thesis, group evidence into paragraphs on sleep science, academic outcomes, and logistics/counterarguments, and add transitions such as "First," "Next," "However," and "Therefore" to connect reasons.
Open with a story about a celebrity athlete's routine and insert statistics about professional leagues before returning to school schedules.
Present the counterargument first, then scatter the reasons in alternating sentences to create variety, removing most transitions to sound more energetic.
Add subheadings for "Jobs," "Buses," and "Breakfast" in that order and arrange all points to fit those labels even if evidence about learning gets separated.
Explanation
Option A clarifies structure by grouping related reasons and using purposeful transitions to connect claims, evidence, and counterarguments. The other choices introduce irrelevant content, scramble the sequence, or force an unhelpful pattern that weakens coherence.
The 1900 storm in Galveston remains one of the deadliest disasters in the United States. Wind and surge destroyed neighborhoods, witnesses described water rising fast. Later the city built a seawall and raised buildings with sand. Weather forecasting was limited; telegraph lines failed. Some residents evacuated by train, many stayed, communication gaps mattered. Engineers studied currents, the Gulf can funnel storms toward the island. Volunteers organized relief kitchens, churches sheltered families, the scale of loss was vast. Photographs show toppled houses, recovery took years, lessons about preparedness grew. Today forecasters use satellites and radar. Evacuation routes exist, sirens and alerts reach phones, coastal dunes protect habitat. The report moves among time periods. Clear timelines and sectional headings would help. Transitions could guide readers between eras.
Which revision would most effectively improve the draft's organization and clarify the sequence of events?
Insert a section comparing this storm to volcanic eruptions worldwide to broaden context, placing it between paragraphs about local recovery.
Reorder details to start with modern technology, jump to 1900 relief, then end with storm formation, to create a surprise effect.
Add bolded subheadings for "Science," "Community," and "Nature," grouping facts strictly under those labels even if events are split across time.
Organize the report chronologically into "Before the storm," "During," "After," and "Today," adding time markers like "Meanwhile" and "Years later" to connect sections.
Explanation
Option D applies a chronological structure and time-linked transitions that guide readers through before, during, after, and modern-day developments. The other options add irrelevant material, jumble the timeline, or force topical categories that break logical flow.
I signed up to volunteer at a food bank in Austin with my cousin, and the first thing I noticed was the cold air in the warehouse. We stacked cans, a supervisor waved us toward a table, and I kept thinking about the families waiting in cars. Last summer I helped at a park, this felt different. Gloves were too big. Later a driver rolled a pallet by my foot. The line of boxes looked like a maze. I wanted to move faster, but I also liked checking labels. At the end we drank water in the shade, before that my cousin dropped a can and laughed. The reason I went was to help, the order of moments got jumbled. Transitions would clarify the sequence.
Which revision would most effectively improve the narrative's organizational structure and transitions?
Add a paragraph describing a popular festival across town and compare its atmosphere to the warehouse before returning to the shift.
Reorganize the events into a clear beginning-to-end sequence—arrival, tasks, challenges, closing—using time markers like "When we arrived," "During the shift," and "Afterward," followed by a final reflective sentence.
Start with the funniest moment in the middle and jump backward and forward several times to create a dramatic effect without transition phrases.
Insert subheadings labeled "Feeling," "Seeing," and "Thinking," sorting sentences under each even if it mixes earlier and later events.
Explanation
Option B establishes a chronological order and uses time transitions to connect moments to a purposeful reflection, improving coherence without changing content. The other choices introduce irrelevant details, disrupt logical flow, or impose categories that confuse the sequence.