Composition: Composing Correspondence (TEKS.ELA.7.11.D)
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Texas 7th Grade ELA › Composition: Composing Correspondence (TEKS.ELA.7.11.D)
hey, so the hallways are like super jammed and it's basically chaos between classes. People are bumping into me and I was late twice which is not cool. I think you should probably fix it somehow. Maybe just make bells longer or tell everyone to chill. Anyway, I'm writing because it's getting annoying and also unsafe, I guess. Some kids run and backpacks whack people. Could we maybe get more time or monitors or whatever? I don't know who decides this, but please do something fast. Thanks, from Jordan in seventh grade, blue backpack, third period science. Room 214 today.
Which revision best improves this request to a school administrator for its specific purpose and audience?
Yo AP Garcia, the halls are wild lol just make bells longer thx.
To Whom It May Concern: The hallways are suboptimal and remedies are requested forthwith.
Subject: Passing Period Safety Concern. Dear Assistant Principal Garcia, I am concerned about crowded hallways between periods. In the last week I was late twice and saw students pushed. Would the school consider adding one minute to passing time or placing staff monitors near the main stairs? Thank you for your attention. Sincerely, Jordan [Last Name], Grade 7, Period 3 Science, Room 214.
Dear Hallway People, give us space!!! Also, lockers?
Explanation
Option C uses a respectful greeting, states the problem with specific examples, and makes clear, reasonable requests appropriate for emailing a school administrator.
Hi whoever, our park near my apartments is blazing hot and the slides burn, especially in August. Can y'all just fix it? Maybe put up some shade or plant trees or something like that. My little brother cried last week and my mom was mad. I don't know the park's official name, but it's the one by the H‑E‑B on Blanco. We go there a lot after school. I'm not trying to be rude, but this seems like common sense. Please respond soon with what you will do. Thanks, a concerned kid who lives nearby. San Antonio, north side area.
Which revision best improves this request to a city department about playground shade in Texas heat?
Subject: Shade Request for Blanco Road Playground. Dear Parks and Recreation, I am a student who uses the playground next to the grocery store at Blanco and [Street]. The equipment gets very hot in summer. Would the city consider installing shade sails or planting additional trees near the slides? I appreciate any timeline or next steps. Thank you for your work. Sincerely, [Name], [Contact].
To Whom It May Concern: Please ameliorate excessive thermal conditions at said recreational apparatus forthwith.
yo parks ppl the slides roast us lol just toss up a tarp idc how
Create a post on social media tagging the city with a meme about hot slides so they notice.
Explanation
Option A matches a civic audience with a polite tone, clear location details, and a specific, reasonable request.
Dear Collaborator, I hereby notify you that your section remains incomplete and thus jeopardizes our entire academic endeavor. As project manager, I have repeatedly requested deliverables by the agreed-upon benchmark, yet no artifacts have materialized. If this situation persists, I will be compelled to inform our instructor and reassign responsibilities. Please acknowledge receipt of this correspondence and present a remediation plan by end of day. Attached are the rubric and the outline you reportedly misplaced. Time is of the essence. Sincerely, Taylor. We present on Friday, and Mr. Lee expects every slide to be complete. Please help get this done.
Which revision best improves this message to a classmate about a group project?
Yo where's your part bro, you're tanking us, just do it.
To whom it may concern, your deliverable is delinquent; failure will be documented.
Send the slides.
Hey [Name], we present Friday. Could you finish the research for slides 4–5 and add sources by 7 pm tonight? I attached the rubric and outline. If anything's confusing, want to meet online at 6? Thanks—Taylor.
Explanation
Option D uses a friendly, peer-appropriate tone, sets a clear task and deadline, and offers help, which improves clarity and cooperation.
Hello, my name is Casey and I'm trying to get stuff for our school event. It's a thing for Texas History Day and we'll have games and maybe a raffle. Can you give us something free? Maybe gift cards or food? We're at Creekview Middle School in Austin, and it's next month sometime. I don't have a flyer yet. If you help, we'll say your name on the microphone. Let me know quick because we want this to be big. You can reply to this email. Thanks if you can, sorry if not, no worries either way. Event date pending.
Which revision best improves this donation request to a local business for Texas History Day?
Hey can u hook us up with free food for Texas history thing? thx
Subject: Donation Request for Texas History Day Raffle—Creekview MS. Dear Manager, Our school is hosting Texas History Day on [date]. We respectfully request a donated $20–$50 gift card or item for our raffle to support student activities. We will thank your business at the event and in our program. I can email a flyer and pick up the item at your convenience. Thank you for considering our request. Sincerely, Casey [Last Name], Student Coordinator, Creekview Middle School, [email/phone].
ATTENTION: DONATE OR ELSE!
To whom it may concern, please remit aid in any form to our entity.
Explanation
Option B uses a polite, professional format and provides specific details, a clear request, and how the business will be recognized.
hi principal martinez, I'm writing about the playground. It's Texas hot at recess, and last week I nearly melted out there. Can y'all do something? Maybe buy giant tents or whatever. People keep complaining, and honestly I don't think anyone is listening. We deserve better because it's not fair to sweat so much. I also think the water fountains taste weird. Anyway, if you could reply soon, that'd be awesome. I have band after school so I'm busy, but please fix it fast. Thanks!! From, Eli, seventh grade, third period math, you know who I am. at Willow Creek Middle.
Which revision best improves this message for its purpose and audience?
Subject: HOT PLAYGROUND!!! Hey! It's crazy out there—pls buy tents ASAP!! Thx :)
Subject: Recess Shade and Hydration Request. Dear Principal Martinez, I'm concerned about high temperatures during recess. Could the school consider adding shade (e.g., canopies) and an extra water station? I'm happy to share details from our grade. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Eli R., Grade 7, Period 3.
Subject: Inquiry. To Whom It May Concern, This correspondence regards the outdoors and certain discomforts. Please advise.
Subject: Playground. Need shade and better fountains. Reply soon. From Eli.
Explanation
B uses a respectful tone, clear request, and proper email format for a principal. A is too casual and informal. C is overly formal and vague. D lacks a greeting, specifics, and professional tone.
Hello, I'm from Mesa Ridge Middle School Student Council. We're doing a booth at the town community cook-off next month, and we need prizes. Can you hook us up with some gift cards or stuff? It would make you look good and we'll totally shout you out. The event is huge and everyone in town shows up. I don't know how donations work, so just tell me what you can do. We also might need a table and maybe extension cords. Hit me back soon. Thanks, Jayden. Our booth raises funds for school supplies and community service projects in October.
Which revision best improves this message for its purpose and audience?
Subject: Need Prizes! Hey there! Can you hook us up with gift cards? We'll shout you out big time!!
Convert the email into a colorful flyer with large fonts and no greeting so it stands out more.
Subject: Donation. To whom it may concern, please donate items to our school. Regards.
Subject: Donation Request for Mesa Ridge Middle School Booth, Oct 14. Dear Store Manager, Our student council is raising funds for school supplies at the town cook-off. Would you consider donating two $25 gift cards and allowing us to borrow one folding table? We will acknowledge your business on our sign and social media. I can pick up items next week at your convenience. Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely, Jayden R., Student Council, contact: j.rivera@mrms.edu.
Explanation
D matches a business audience with a polite tone, clear purpose, specific requests, and contact details. A is too casual and vague. B ignores standard email conventions. C is overly formal and lacks necessary specifics.
To whom it may concern, I hereby inform you that our social studies presentation on the Texas Revolution requires immediate coordination. It is advisable that you complete slides one through five while I engage with six through ten. Kindly acknowledge receipt of this correspondence at your earliest convenience. Additionally, please furnish the bibliography in MLA format and transmit it to me no later than Thursday at five o'clock post meridiem. Failure to comply may result in substandard outcomes. I remain, sincerely, Jordan, Period 4. Also, I propose practicing during lunch on Wednesday to polish timing and transitions together. Please respond.
Which revision best improves this message for its purpose and audience?
Hey Maya—For our Texas Revolution slides, could you take 1–5 and I'll do 6–10? Let's meet Wednesday at lunch to practice and finish the MLA works cited. Can you send me your sources by Thursday at 5? Thanks! —Jordan
yo partner we'll just wing it lol just send me whatever and we'll fix it later
Esteemed colleague, I solicit your cooperation herein to expedite our scholarly deliverable at the earliest convenience.
Let's both do all the slides and figure it out later. We'll probably be fine.
Explanation
A uses an appropriate, friendly tone for a peer while staying clear about tasks, timeline, and meeting time. B is too casual and vague. C is overly formal for a classmate. D is unclear about responsibilities and reduces effectiveness.
Ms. Nguyen, I need more time on the novel response. I had a lot going on and just couldn't do it. Also, the directions were kind of confusing, so that didn't help. I'm not turning it in today, and I'll get it to you whenever I can, probably next week. Please don't put a zero because that would be super unfair. I'm a good student most of the time. Let me know if this is fine. I can explain in person if necessary, but I'm pretty slammed. Thanks in advance, Blake. I didn't email sooner because my Wi-Fi broke yesterday.
Which revision best improves this message for its purpose and audience?
hey ms n can i have like a week idk i'm busy thx
Send a calendar invite for next Friday with no message so the teacher knows the new date.
Subject: Request for One-Day Extension on Novel Response. Dear Ms. Nguyen, I'm requesting a one-day extension due to a home internet outage last night. I can submit the assignment by 4 p.m. tomorrow and will attend tutorials to review the directions. I understand the late policy and appreciate your consideration. Sincerely, Blake R., Period 2.
I deserve more time because a zero would be unfair. I'll turn it in next week whenever.
Explanation
C is polite, specific, and proposes a clear new deadline with accountability. A is too informal. B ignores email conventions and provides no context. D is demanding and vague, which hurts clarity and tone.